These things.....

It's the beginning of the holiday season over here in Indianapolis and as I sit here at my dining room table looking out the window watching the sleet fall, a chill hits me.

I hate winter.


There. I said it.

I am an Aussie, born in the center of Australia, lived most of my life on the coast, had way too many sun burns in my life, spent one full winter ever in my life in snow.

I like it for a minute, and then it wears off.

The snow, that is.

And here I am. In the middle of what will soon become snow hell. No sun in sight for months. No coast line to run away to. No waves to frolic in.

How did this happen, you ask?

Well, it all started when.........(insert long and winding story here).

It just happened (short story).

So, as I sit here and write....thinking about the cold. A fire about to be built in the fireplace, surrounded by all the creative projects I have to begin now to fulfill xmas orders for people, my walls full of instruments that need to be prepared for their winter as well, a copy of the new Curve Magazine interview on my screen and music playing in the background I feel less like the rock star I sometimes pretend to be and more like the hard working creative individual I actually am. I want to share with you a new 'thing' I have started. It's called The Front Porch Collective...and really, it's just me and a few mates who literally sit on the porch and make stuff that we have started to sell. I just built us a website, and an etsy store and we are hoping as you start to buy gifts for your loved ones this holiday season that you will consider going local and/or independent and buying from us. All of us can make custom pieces too and all of these pieces are one of a kind.

So, warm your  heart and ours...and check out our stuff here:

November 12th....

Now, THIS, is some serious promotion.....we don't do anything by halves over here.

So, you heard it..

November 12th
The Irving Theater
5505 East Washington St
Indianapolis, IN 46219

Martine Locke & Band
With Jenrose Fitzgerald (from Kentucky) opening the show

Doors open 7.30pm

Tickets $12 pre sale through Brown Paper Tickets:
http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/206120

Or $15 on the door

Pre holiday trunk show will also take place throughout the night with handmade holiday gifts from Martine Locke, Jamie Price & Dionne Ward. Check out www.inthislifenow.com and www.musekraft.com for some of the items that will be available to purchase. Get your holiday gift giving started early and buy local and handmade!

Miss Representation....

Incredibly powerful and true....the best 10 minutes you will spend today to expand your brain and to incite a riot in your mind. Pass it on mateys....



Newest Miss Representation Trailer (2011 Sundance Film Festival Official Selection) from Miss Representation on Vimeo.

Love my job...

You know....you're driving through Michigan on the way to a mates house for a house concert. The van is filled with all the gear and two of your favorite people...and you start to see winery signs.

So...what do you do?

Well hell, you stop of course.

The Aussie in me can barely pass a winery sign when I'm driving alone...nevermind with my wine drinking mates.

So, here we are at the Karma Vista winery in Colma, Michigan. The new grapes are ready to be picked and we are all heading home with Michigan wine selections.

I love my job and my life. Sideways rain, hand made truffles, good wine, sweet love and friendships...what's not to love?

Xxm

Proudly Australian...
Fiercely independent...

www.martinelocke.com

MuMu....

I hung out with my mum back in Australia in April and had the chance to spend almost 3 weeks with her and the rest of my family just chillin. For those of you that don't know, my mum was also diagnosed with stage one dementia around that time and right around the time this photo was taken (from a webcam session with my sweetheart Jamie, who got to meet my mum for the first time via webcam) she sat next to me on the couch, put her hand on my knee and her head on my shoulder and said, 'well, it looks like you are losing your mum.'

I think I have been acutely aware of the fact that my mum will die, or be taken from me,  since I first realized it when I was about 12 years old. That thought has often reduced my heart to a thumping mess since that time. Watching her get older over the years, watching her lose the people she has loved and have to move on, to start life again has been tough and heart breaking. Sometimes, I am sure it's the same for me now as it was for her when I was growing up. Having her heart broken by my choices and my teenage words.

In the four months that I have been gone though I have indeed begun losing my mum. I hear stories from my brother and sister about their experiences with her. The lies she tells to get more medication, or to not eat or to not shower. The frustrations they feel over trying to explain to her and to her carers, that she has indeed had her quota of pills (this after working out she was taking her daily dosages, and then some, all at once and telling everyone she hadn't taken anything) and has indeed had visits from them and isn't all alone, as she tells them.  I have weekly conversations with her where I sit and listen to the same stories again and again, laughing in all the right spots, trying to work out out new questions I can ask her that might help jog her memory and get her to know she just told me that three minutes ago. Only to find out later through my brother & sister that none of them are true. I feel bad that I am not closer, to help them through it and to be there for her as well. I hear their frustrations and fears around it all and feel pretty useless over here.

Sometimes the only thing that has kept me here in the US over the last 10 years is my mum saying to me that she knows I am following my heart and doing what I want to do with my life, and for that she is proud. I know she has always missed me. I know she has always been excited beyond belief about me coming home to be with her. I know she has always been standing in my corner believing in my life and my choice to be here.

But.

I am losing her.

Infact, I feel like there is a huge chunk of her that I have already lost in the 4 months that I have been gone.

I am trying to work my way to getting back to her for a visit as soon as I can but of course, an independent artists budget doesn't always stretch that far and airfares just continue to go up and often times throughout my day, I wonder if I am doing the right thing.

I know she still has time left on this earth, but in what form? This is what scares me. To watch her slip further and further into what seems like a horribly lonely, sad, confusing existence. I can barely stand the thought of that.

It just doesn't seem fair.....

 'Old age is no place for sissies'
                               Bette Davis

lufituaeb era uoy

So, me and my sweet girl Jamie have been working hard on this new idea that we have. It started because I realized she was a whizz at screen printing and I wanted to learn how to screen print my own merchandise.

So...she taught me how to do it (and now, all the merchandise I have is screen printed, by hand, by us).

We worked on this idea and called it IHA - which is a sanskrit word that means 'in this life'...as in, fully immersed in life, jumping into every moment with both feet. That is how we both want to live. We also wanted to live sending a positive message into the world....even in our own thoughts and feelings. To live in love and kindness. She has taught me a lot about that the last few months.

So, we put them both together...and this is what we got:

This design is actually backwards (the photo you are looking at is taken in a mirror). The idea was that every time the person wearing it looked into a mirror, they were reminded. Another interesting thing has happened with this t-shirt though. It seems that people are turning it around in their own brains and when they see it walking towards them.....it reads, I am beautiful. LOVE THAT!!!!

To see something I help create going out into the world and making people happy and empowered is what I feel like I have strived to do my whole adult life. It's what I want to do for the rest of my life. In my music, in my art, in our t's, in my day to day relationships with people I meet....it is, in my heart of hearts, the way I want to be. I don't always hit the mark but it is truely where I want to be each time.

So....here they are, our new creations....

Hello wind mills...

Hello out there....seems my posts start lately with words of lament about how little I have written on here the last few months. I figured I wouldn't start this post with that this time but alas, its what I think of as I type this out on my little phone.
I am heading up to Milwaukee right now to play a show at the pride festival up there this weekend. The van is full of stuff and people and I am trying to play dj on my ipod...playing Kelly Clarkson to a van full of haters trying to school them in the vocal brilliance of the Clarky.

It's not working so far...

I should show you their faces.....

Anyway, I have gone up this highway so many times but I always find myself thrilled to see the windmills. I adore them for so many reasons. They feel like art and a magnificent display of what human kind can achieve when they/we want. And they also usually signal I have less driving than has already been done...

Life is good. I am grateful.

Hope yours and you are also...

Xxm

Proudly Australian...
Fiercely independent...

www.martinelocke.com

Dang....

It's been a long time between blog posts and all I can say is that life has kept me busy since the last one. It's always interesting to me how things, how creativity, ebbs and flows. I feel like I am being creative and writing, just in other ways right now. Use to be that I would write on here sometimes a few times a day, now I am glad if I can get it once a week. Change. It's a funny thing.

I keep saying to myself 'enough change already'...and then the universe, with it's wicked sense of humor, jumps in and mixes things up. I can imagine, with a wild cackle....interesting that I visualize the universe as a creature with a witch like cackle when it comes to change. I don't enjoy it that much, even though I feel like I facilitate it for myself often.

Anyway, life is grand....and hopefully has settled down for a little while now. Amazing shows coming up, a new live cd that I am incredibly proud of and people around me who I love and am loved by. This is life....in all it's glory. And I am grateful.

xxM

It's THAT time...

I flew back to Australia a few days ago and lay here, in my nieces Princess bed (yes, tis a sight indeed), living through my second night with jet lag.

Actually, its not so bad...I am just not use to getting up at 5am and can't wait to get back to my 8am sleep ins.

It's wonderful to be back in the homeland again, hanging with the family and eating all the foods that I have missed. My mum, Muriel, turns 80 while I am here and really, this is the reason why I am here.

Time for a photo no doubt:

I only get to see my ma once year and it's tough. I miss her and I always have to go through a period of adjustment time when I get here because of the changes age is bringing her. She has just been diagnosed with the first level of dementia...which is scarey, for all of us. My heart has already felt achy to witness some of her fear around it and I find myself just wanting to remind her to keep positive and active and surely that will help, right? I'm all about giving space for all that we feel....and then moving on...but that's easier said and done when you are my age than it is at her age.

So...here we be, in the country that sells bananas at the moment for $9.99 a kilo (almost $4.50 a pound). Eating meat pies, red snakes, twisties and cherry ripes (mmm) and hanging out with my mum as much as I can. Taking her in, watching her closely, re-learning her and burning her face on my memory and trying to have a laugh in the midst of it all.

Wish me luck peeps

xxM

::open up anyway::

open wide.
give your desires words. out loud words.
tenderly gaze of the eye to eye.
expose your craving anyway you must, under a blanket or backed by a rented band.
reveal your intentions, clean.
stand there, vulnerable, waiting.
describe your dream, in detail.
clarify what you're afraid of and give faith to the opposite.

engage every cell in fiercely wishing:
to be seen. to be graduated. adored. valued. validated. met.

the moment holds it all. give it then and there.
even if it didn't work before, or you're not sure what will come out of you to make for something new. (you can't be sure)
blow off the past.
ask for what you want.

unzip the casing of your personality and let that inner layer feel the air. smart warm life.
do it in front of another being.

this is terrifying relief:
to merge
out in front
melting edges
contributing
punctuations of ecstasy
everyday happiness deepening
we know.
pulse open. open. open.

you will get hurt. shattered -- guaranteed.
a glance will cut. denial will bruise, rejection will fracture.
you'll cry. clenched. you'll be infuriated. you may choose to walk away -- agonized.
leave. quit. swing back. shoot a dart of defense.
you'll regret it -- more or less.

if you stay there, closed down 'round your core, then you'll never leave the house feeling like yourself.
you'll pad your soul with stuff destined for landfills.
piles of dislike and complaints will heave between you and bliss.
(bliss is possible. we know.)
itchy. tight. foggy. this happens when the heart is veiled.
nothing will ever be quite right, day after day.

pulse back open.
do it to be it.
lean toward.
worship your precious impulses.
focus to expansion.
this once.
open
up
any
way
...
Danielle LaPorte

Tell me...

What your words were...

Mine were: Beauty, Made, Passion....quickly followed by Pogo.

Hmm...

Here she be....

The new cd is here mates.....she has arrived in all her glory and is possibly the most beautiful of her kind...oh, but what parent doesn't say that.

You can pick up a copy of this 79 minute entertainment extravaganza now at cd baby. Also keep your eye on itunes etc because it will be there soon too!

Go [HERE] to get a copy!

In celebration of a life gone too soon....

These are my friends Becky & Annemarie. Two sweetheart friends of mine who I met through music a number of years ago and who became mates. Friends I could hang out with in good and bad times, drink margaritas with, play music with, watch entire seasons of True Blood with, talk deeply about life and love with, laugh hard with, stain play gym equipment with, learn about gardening and vegetables with and hang out all day in my sweat pants with (and you *know* that's a sign of a true friendship.)

In early October Becky was admitted to the ER with hip/back pain and in the process of trying to work out what was going on, they found lesions on her liver that turned out to be secondary liver cancer.

Yesterday, Becky passed away.

In the midst of trying to deal with my sadness around not only losing Becky but having my friend Annemarie go through such a heart breaking experience, I am trying to find moments to celebrate Becky. To stop in my day and laugh as I recall moments we shared and to say a big thank you to the universe for allowing me to go visit with her before she passed away. To kiss her bum fluff bald head and sing her a new song. To see her smile even just for a minute. Sitting here, feeling rather helpless in it all, miles away from Annemarie, I close my eyes and imagine myself throwing my arms around her and loving on her broken heart.

On February 26th at the UU Church in Woodstock, IL we are going to have a fund raising concert to raise money to help pay for the hospital bills that are still coming in from Becky's treatment. There will be a silent auction and a concert and a time to celebrate. If you want to come to the show, or have friends in the area that you can pass the details along to, we would appreciate it. Please check out the facebook invitation page [here] for details on how to attend or for details on how to donate towards her medical bills and funeral. Even $10 would help. If you have something that you think would help with the silent auction, please drop me a note to let me know.

I know you probably didn't know her, but if you could just take a moment in your day to say thank you for her...I would appreciate it and know that collectively our energy will make a difference.

xxM

The view from here...

Driving back to Indianapolis from a weekend of shows and friends in Chicago...mentally preparing for my first supposed BIG winter storm. 20 inches of snow expected and I keep hearing people talk about buying groceries incase they get trapped.

Gulp.

And damn, I wish I had a hot tub....

Or some sun.

My mum was talking to me the other day about how she couldn't sleep because it was so hot in Adelaide. Hmm. Heat or snow...such a hard toss up.

Not!!!

Give me heat any day...

From out here on I65 driving towards a storm....god, so the story of my life. Ha!!

Xxm

Aussie Day in Indianapolis

Celebrating Australia day in the snow. We recreating our favorite Aussie foods, starting with cheesy vegemite scrolls......

Can barely wait to eat them....

Happy Aussie day mates

Xxm

Happy day of birth...

To Me...

I kinda wish I were sitting in this beach today, celebrating my birth like I have many times before.

Ahh, but I have snow, surrounded by good mates and plenty of laughter. What more could a girl want?!

Blessed I be on this day of birth...

Xxm

Resolutions....

I have spent a good chunk of time, during my few weeks of feeling poorly, writing out my intentions, resolutions and things I want to manifest this year. Pages upon pages of things and then a few pages of things I wanted to leave behind, which I promptly burned.

One thing I want to spend more time with this year is redefining my spirituality. Since leaving organized religion I feel like I have wandered around a little in spiritual no woman's land....taking a little here and there without really spending a lot of time working out what works for me.

I know meditation works for me, so taking time to develop my practice more.

I know thinking deeply about intentions and that which I choose to put out into the world both physically and energetically, works for me. So being mindful and working more on developing that.

Being creative is a chance for me to tap into my spirit more too.

Getting back to myself and my spirit is my quest. To stand proudly and unashamedly on my truth. To love and be loved and to know what I want and to be able to verbalize that proudly. Someone reminded me today that this is my life, that I get to make all the decisions and dictate where I go. That I give what I want when I want.

This is all what I want..

What to you want?

Xxm

Things to know today....

January 1st, 2011....

1.1.11

Weird huh?

So, this year you will be happy to know is going to be good for the arts....and the 7 billionth person will be born. It only took 11 years for the last billion to be born. That's some freaky shit and hopefully the two aren't related.

But we all know they probably are.

Good year for the arts means there will be a lot of giddy artists running around....which means, of course, there will be lots of giddy artists doing the dirty (or the wonderously yummy, as I like to think of it).

So, my prediction for 2011, is that the 7 billionth person born will no doubt be sired by artists and will grow up to be a very happy, well adjusted, creative human being.

Oh...and happy new year, in the midst of this, possibly the most bizarre posting ever.....

Xxm

Solstice....

Well, it's been a long time between blog posts. The longest time every probably. Sorry about that for those of you who regularly read. It's winter here in Indiana and I am surrounded by more snow than I have ever seen in my life. Learning how to live in it is interesting in a 'do I need to buy snow pants, how do I get my car door unfrozen' kind of way. I have moments of being amazed but it and then moments of being just utterly pissed off and wanting to get back to my Australian summer.

I am sitting here listening to the final mix of the new live cd...it's bloody fantastic, if I must say so myself. It feels so nice to have captured such a beautiful show. The audience members sing like angels and clap and whoots like devils....it's wonderful. Someone just asked me if the pre-sale is still going.....it is, and you can find it here: http://www.martinelocke.com/pages/presale.php . Hopefully will be ready for posting by mid February and then I will start to plan cd release shows around the country.

So, it was solstice Tuesday night and for the first time in 700 years that coincided with an eclipse. It felt like a very powerful time to me. I watched the eclipse via a webcam in Chile (coz of aforementioned snow blocking the sky here) and felt in myself like it was an amazing thing to witness. I wrote my intentions out and mailed them to myself via futureme.org - it's set to send me an email in one years time. Such a freaky concept. Tuesday night I went to a solstice party and they had a fire out back for people to burn the things that they wanted to leave. For me, I had to burn things to do with my time in the church. Guilt and feeling responsible. It's very strange to have found all of that inside myself still after so many years being away from it. But there it was.....and there it went.

Happy holiday to you however you celebrate them and I hope that you get the chance to take a moment and think about what it is you are willing to let go of during this solstice time. Things that don't serve you anymore. Let them go.

xxM

the days of our lives....

Elizabeth Edwards passed away on Tuesday from breast cancer. A lot of you would most likely know who she is but google will be able to tell you if you don't. One of her last quotes moved me deeply today as I try to work out where my brain is at and why it feels all so muddled with this life of mine. I share it with you, as it was shared with me, to offer a remembrance of the shortness of life....


“The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And, yes, there are certainly times when we aren’t able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It’s called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful.“ –Elizabeth Edwards