The box.....

So, I bet you never knew that I was so multi talented huh??  .....sometimes, I forget too. You are looking at my first ever raised garden bed. I put it all together with cedar that I bought from Menards. I drilled the holes and screwed the screws and dug the ground and then buried the posts... and not only does it look damn sexy, but it smells amazing.

I am quite proud of my work.

Of course, it's not filled with dirt yet...or thriving vegetables for that matter, but hey, it's together...in place and ready to go. We have to travel this weekend to a show in Findlay, Ohio and I am thinking I need to wait till I get home again to fill it with dirt....and then plant!!!

I am so excited about having my very own garden. One that I can grow amazing vegetables in. One that I can walk outside my back door and pick what I need for that night's dinner. I can't even tell you how excited that makes me feel.

It makes me feel a little settled.....which kinda scares me and excites me all at once.

You gotta understand. I have lived a itinerant life of some kind for the last 12 years. I haven't lived in my own house...with a garden....or a front door that people can just turn up to...for at least 10 of those years. And this is more than just 'my own house'.....we bought it. We own it. I have never owned my own home.

So, it's a little freaky.

Occasionally I get scared that I have 'settled' down and that life will be boring or uneventful or that I will lose my creativity or want to have a baby or something (ha ha....okay, so not all of those things are true...) (breath honey...breath). Occasionally I get scared of the responsibility of owning my own home. I get scared of the work that will always have to be done...of the fear of something going wrong that will cost a lot of money. Of getting bad neighbours that you can't escape.

They are all just fears though....not reality. That's the weird thing about fear...at least for me, I have to back peddle myself out of them and remind myself that they aren't real....they are what 'could' happen. Especially if I spend too much time dwelling on them.

The trick is to stay here...and now. Ever present. Ever grateful for this divine moment, which is unlike any other moment I have ever experienced in my life.

And then, I just have to remember to breath.

And plant tomatoes.....

xxM