The GINORMOUS watermelon...

This is my first ever home grown watermelon. It's so amazing to watch it grow, literally centimeters  every day.

This photo is rather deceptive in that my watermelon is only about an inch and a half long (I know I am confusing those of you who believe in learning one form of measurement or the other...trying to keep it fresh people).

I know I rattle on about my garden all the time and people around me are likely getting sick of it.....in the same way people get sick of hearing about new children, or new puppies...I suspect. But in the same spirit shared by new parents and new puppy owners....I DON'T CARE!!!!

I love it. I love watching it grow. It teaches me about patience and real honest reward for real honest work. I sometimes feel like I work in a 'world' that has a skewed idea of reward....so this is a real balancing work for me. It brings me back to earth, gets my hands dirty and I feel true joy every time I get to pick something that I have watched grow for weeks and

EAT it.

...unlike a new parent...or a new puppy owner.

It's creativity in a whole new form and I feel like this year has been all about that for me. Not limiting my creative energy to just one area. It's been strange, at times scarey, ego challenging and definately has given me pause for thought many times. At the end of the day, I feel like my world is more balanced than ever in the creative...and in all ways actually. I feel calm, I feel inspired, I feel loved, I feel safe, I feel like my input is mostly equal to my output, I feel in awe and I feel energized by this world I get to dream up and live in.

And perhaps soon, I will get to have a watermelon party.

xxM

November 6th

It's official.

November 6th is the date for our live recording in Indianapolis. One night with the indy indie crew...a redux of shows gone by. A room full of amazing souls ready to laugh, sing and become part if my first solo live cd.

Put the date on your calendar now!! Will let you know about tickets soon.

Yay for us....now to dream and rehearse the show into being.

Xxm

Sunflower Envy...

Sunflowers are my most favorite flower in the world. I have them tattooed up my arm, that's how much I love them.

These aren't my sunflowers, they belong to my friend Beth. I have sunflower envy. I planted seeds everywhere around my garden and even though EVERYTHING else is growing out of control...my sunflowers are non existant.

Perhaps next year.

Until then I get to Ohhh and Ahhh at Beth's sunflowers and their 'volunteer' mates and occasionally steal some for home.

Xxm

I Believe She's Amazing.....

I watched this with tears falling down my face. The power of music and dance and beauty and good intention all together in one space. So powerful.

Read more about it and join the movement here: http://www.ibelieveshesamazing.com/

Thanks to my friend Andrea for passing it along...

xxM

The story of the whowho.

My good mate Kathleen, or KC as I have often referred to her on here, is doing a ride across Illinois this week. She is riding at least 513 miles and tell the story of why at her blog www.spokein.com if you have a minute to drop her a note of encouragement, please do, I am certain it will help a lot.

I text her two days ago to ask her if her bum was sore yet because, well you know, these are the hard hitting questions I ask. She text me back to let me know her bum was doing fine but her whowho wasn't doing so well. We got into this whole conversation about chaffing and such and as we were texting about it (kc riding on her bike the whole time), she looked up and took this photo. It was the town she was going through at the time and no doubt the universe was having a huge old laugh at kc's whowhos expense.

Needless to say, I found it pretty damn funny too.

Go check out her adventure and say hello....she has 84 miles to ride today in honor of her nephew who is a cancer survivor and I know you will do her heart, and her whowho, good to hear from you.

Xx

oh my...

It's been almost a week since my last blog post....so "unlike" me. It's good. But, it's weird. Once upon a time I use to post sometimes a few times a day. It's not like I don't have anything to say these days, because believe me, I do.....I am constantly thinking up weird shit in a *pondering* kinda way or in a *wonder if anyone else feels that* kinda way and oftentimes I think about posting it out to the world.

But then, I just get distracted.

It seems life is crazy full of amazing distractions these days and most times I am merrily humming along to myself (in a Winnie The Pooh kinda way) and then just change course for a minute and wonder what I was going to do in the first place. It's extremely nice to be distracted in such a happy and mind blowingly fulfilling kinda way.

Right now....my life is filled with this.

Ripping the crap out of our second bathroom to make it how we see it....

This is it after we ripped out the tiles, the surround, the bath, the vanity and the wainscoting. (I will show a final picture once we are done). If you look back you will see our kitchen finale picture...that was pretty impressive, if I must say so myself.

Then of course, there is this.....

Playing tennis. Keeps me very distracted.

We have started the Midwest Tennis, Sushi and Sake event that happens once a week....sometimes more. Our mate Jamie plays with an ever revolving bevy of partners that either can't keep up with us or seem to just not come back. I think because Jamie keeps losing (ha ha, had to get that in there) she secretly disposes of them.

This is Jamie with Megan, a very very...most incredibly...famous sand retardist. She is really quite an amazing sand retardist I have heard....and come to think of it, I haven't seen her since this day.

Hmmm....

Ohhhhhh...and sometimes, there are things like this that distract me..:

Isn't she/he amazing? We ran into the beauty at the Irvington Farmer's market on the weekend, which is our local farmers market. They had all these awesome animals to show....even a skunk, which I was rather distracted by in a 'where does it's smell go' kinda way.

And a ferret...which I have never understood in my whole life. Why would you have a ferret for a pet?

So......many things take my mind away into many directions and I LOVE it. Life is crazy happy and full of music and art and creativity and hanging with friends and building community and working hard and aching bodies and days where it's nice to just sit and BE.

I feel so blessed by this life that I get to live. That I get to choose everyday. It's the life of my dream and I know that there will be days when I am sore from playing music and jumping around a stage, which I adore, and then there will be days when I am sore from playing tennis or renovating the darn bathroom.....and then there will be days where I just get to breath and pick up my guitar and play a sweet tune for no one else but myself.

I am in love with this life. Whoever I need to send a thank you note to, please let me know...I will make a really pretty one.

xxM

To drum...or not to drum

I am sitting in the middle of a rehearsal for the indy drumming group Ashre. They have so kindly let us, and particularly me and my non drumming ability, into their rehearsal night to learn and laugh and to continue being a part of the amazing community of them.

We have not so secretly dubbed ourselves the 'cult of divine bliss'.

I have never been very good at drumming. Usually, when the drumming kicks in at festivals etc, I excuse myself. Mostly out of fear of embarrassing myself. But there's no embarrassing here. It's an accepting group of fine musicians who patiently teach me, or let me just be. It's nice to have that kind of musical community. There's nothing attached to this other than the joy of smacking a drum and making a loud amazing noise together.

It's very liberating.

And humbling....

And occasionally 'alternatively rhythmic'....or perhaps that's just me.

Xxm

...home

 So, I know this is a blurry photo and I am a little annoyed at myself that it's the only one I actually took but it just goes to show I was 'into' my night more than I was into documenting it.

We celebrated our home over the weekend with a group of fine people who came to warm it and bring love, light and music into it. We sang, we drummed, we drank, we ate, we (well, Rachel) did lap dances. We caught up with old friends and bathed in the joy of our new friends and took a moment to stop and be proud of what we have created here. The beauty that we have surrounded ourselves with, both in our home and the amazing souls we are fortunate enough to call friends, is a blessing I can't put words to.

I feel truly honored that we have found our tribe here in Indianapolis. That we have found it and they have found us and as I sat with my old friends and my new friends, I felt blessed and lucky and honored....and home.

Tis a good feeling.

Thank you beautius ones....

xxM

perfection worth waiting for....

'..they found it..and then, they waited..'

I think it's true that the things you really want are actually worth waiting for. Now, coming from a middle child Capricorn, that is a BIG....no, HUGE thing to say. We....well, me....is/are notoriously impatient. We/I want it...and want it now, kinda deal.

But I have so learned over the last few years that the things you really want...sometimes without knowing it at the time.....really are worth waiting for.

Whether that be the love of your life, a dream, a good meal, a piece of art, tile, an idea or.....

a knob..

I know you are probably thinking, WTF Locke...you have like, totally lost it...and all. Whatever. (haha....oh valley talk is so, like, um....80's).

But it's true...........

We found this knob. We knew we wanted it. That it was like a piece of art to me and my sweet love and absolute perfection in our eyes for what we were dreaming of.

But there was one thing.....we had to wait to get it.

Like, weeks......!!!!! 

Just like we had to wait for our tile.

Just like we have to wait for the beautiful material that will become our bedroom curtains.

Just like we had to wait for each other....until the timing was perfect.

Life has a strange way of doing that I think. Making us wait.

I believe, with all my heart, that if you are clear..and open...and willing to wait but then also willing to jump when you know in your gut the time is right....that life will deliver to you EXACTLY what you ask of it.

And our knob, is the perfect example of that.

It's worth waiting for.

Now wait.....

xxM

The view from here..

Chilling in the sun under my tree.

Tis a perfect day with weary, happy exhaustion to be laying out...taking it all in.

Xxm

Beauty...and tile

I learned how to tile yesterday. It was very exciting and very empowering. This home ownership thing is cool because I do whatever the hell I/we want to our house and no one can say anything...but us.

I feel very fortunate.

And very tired...lol.

I think I laid awake all last night, after tiling our kitchen back splash, day dreaming about how pretty it was going to look...and then forgot to sleep. Doah.

I do that sometimes.

Our mate Dawn came over to guide us in our tile learning and was an extremely wonderful teacher. She even smiled warmly at me when I dropped the huge heavy ass tile cutter machine thing. Ahh, such a good mate. She made it fun and less scarey...and also very arty at the same time. She has been doing tile since she was seven years old (and boy, is she tired....haha...insert sound of slapping own knee here) and it really shows. Her ease and comfort with the process balanced our frantic 'ohmygodwhatifitdriescrooked'-ness.

So this is our beautiful work....the three of us created this using granite and glass tiles (that we found randomly one day and had to wait two months to get in...) and it was a lot of fun to create something with my hands, other than music. It's very zen, and balancing, and unique and....ours. It's a reflection of who we are individually and together and that's the best kind of reflection to have in a relationship, I think.

Ahh, sweet love.....and tile.

ohh...and spaghetti squashes with faces drawn on them

....insert cricket sound here....

or a photo

How the hell am I ever going to eat them if I keep putting faces on them??

I ask you...

xxM

This weeks...

Colour.

Every week it seems a new colour of this flower pops up in our garden. It's an amazing thing to experience the wow of new beauty and I have very...very...small moments of feeling bad for the woman who use to own our house and planted all these plants that we get to witness now.

So if any of you meet a dentist in Ohio called Helena...tell her we love her garden!! (But not so much the dog hair we keep finding everywhere...).

Xxm

fasting...schmasting...

That's all I can say.

It's one of those things that I got into the habit of doing once a week or so, you know, just to give my body a rest. But shit, when you haven't done it for a while, it really takes some getting use to.

And I am not use to it.

I feel all crabby and annoyed. And I just want to eat a big cheeseburger. Mmmm...cheeseburgers.

I know...I know...

I will feel better for doing it. I know. Already.

My girl is doing it today too. Which helps, but I think she wants to cut someone right now.

My mouth is watering at the thought of a cheeseburger. Oh great. See what you started??

Insert photo now...

gardens gone wild....

I think "gardens gone wild..." would be an extremely sexy video series. I wonder why no one has ever thought about it.

My garden grew about 5 inches higher in the 4 days that I was away. I am quite astounded and felt a little scared when I first saw it. I figured the organic soil I paid lots of money for wasn't working and surely there was some secret growth hormone in there (yes I know, it is working and things are thriving); or the over abundance of coffee grounds was working. I even had a moment of feeling overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of it all and in a moment of guilt declared to the universe that I would use the excess to feed all the poor.

I realized yesterday as I stood there and looked at it all that I have very strange emotions around a garden.  After a number of years of not even having to be responsible for an indoor house plant I figured I had probably 'done something wrong'. Like my garden growing to extreme levels was some how my fault and terribly irresponsible.

I know, sounds bizarre, right?

But it is what it is and it was what it was and I just watched the emotions and the feelings gently and then laughed at myself.

And then got to work weeding and staking and giving things room to breathe.

That's a big thing in my world..

making
sure
everything
has
room
to
breathe.

I have learned a lot about that idea in the studio. Recording songs and laying down instrument parts and vocal parts and always being mindful that everything has room to breathe, to stand on it's own, to be allowed to shine and exist on and IN it's own right. And I know I have translated that idea into my daily world.

Whether it be me or my sweetheart or my friends...or my songs, or my guitar playing, or my art.....or my home or my body and yes, my garden too. I believe EVERYTHING in this world, alive or not, needs to actually have room to breathe...to have air around it and in it. I know that air is what sustains us and my garden, but I believe it actually sustains everything. 

Giving a beautiful piece of art enough space and air to shine makes that piece of art look completely different than it did a minute ago on a wall filled with a hundred other pieces of art crammed together. Music takes on new life when given a minute to exist, our bodies and our minds change when we take a moment to breathe air deeply into our lungs and release, truth comes out when air is blown through a lie, fake people fall when they are breathed upon and gardens produce and dance like super human 5 years olds when given air.

I might not have done a great job with what I initially planted in my garden, I may have planted too much all at once because I was excited. But really, whose to say? The proof will surely come in the pudding as my mumma says....or in the case, it will come in what gets produced and I will learn for next year...and the year after...and the year after that.

But for now, me and my garden are giddy 5 year olds.....

xxM

The view from here..

This was my view this morning out the back of our friends Suz and Kel's house. If this was a fully interactive blog you would be able to hear the bazillion frogs in this lake. It's a very bizarre sound but one I always associate with a relaxing space. The first time I stayed with them I was giddy like a child at the noises and would sit out here and laugh every few minutes at a new sound they would make. I love the way nature has the ability to make us feel so many emotions. Well, at least it does me. I sit in awe of it often.

We are still a few hours away from home after a wildly successful weekend in Milwaukee. It was one of those weekends where you work your ass off and feel like what you got back was equal....very rewarding and inspiring.

Now we have a bit of time to relax, play with our mates at home (licking my lips as I think about ginger margaritas) and get creative all over again. I have two new songs in the works, d is trading djembe lessons for drum lessons, my garden is growing so insanely fast that I am certain to pluck something from it this week and we have a whole slew of custom orders to make.

I live in a constant state of gratefulness and wonder.

How is it that I get to live this life?

How is it that I get to sit and listen to frogs?

Xxm

The Adventures of One Little Aussie - Episode 12

Oopsey...someone just reminded me that I actually forgot to post this video here, to my blog. Doah.

So here it is. The last installment. Another one will hopefully be up soon!

xxM

What awaits...

We are driving home in the rain after a wet weekend in Michigan. Seriously water logged and weary. We were at the Mt Clemens art fair in Michigan this weekend and after a long four days, we just want to be home.

Especially since we were sent this photo of what awaits us. We have this fantastic group of people we have fallen in with in our neighbourhood. Artistic, cheeky, warm, kind, belly laughing funny and generous souls who do things like pick the cherries from our tree and then make us cherry pies.

Like this one.

Our friend, and master drummer and maker of all things with cherries in them, Jamie, sent us this.

A photo of our soon to be cherry pie.

I can't even tell you how happy this makes me feel and how much more it makes us want to be home NOW.

Never mind the fact that they are all just starting a margarita throw down that we are also trying to get home to partake of. We havent been a part of their.community for very long but miss them all already.

Life sure doesn't suck when you are blessed with such people.

Xxm

a stage and it's story....

I think every stage has a story to tell. Oftentimes I need to stand on one for a long time while I sound check and sometimes that time is spent just waiting....so, it gives me time to look around and have a think.

I often think it's quite beautiful actually.

There's something about a stage being marked out that inspires me, excites me, makes me realize I am not alone. And of course, it's just pretty.

This was the stage at Virginia Women's Music Festival on the weekend and as you can probably tell, it was pretty organized. A great crew of women took great care of us. You know it's good when hours before performance someone asks you if you need 'room temperature water' and 'towels'. Seriously, these things make a difference to a show. Especially an outdoor one in the middle of a hot day.

Such a good crew of people out there and I always feel so in awe of the work they all do....and feel so honoured by the chance to be looked after by them.

So thank you, it would have been shitty without you.

xxM

ps....the Lilith competition is still an unknown right now. We moved from #1 to #2 to #1 to #3 all within 12 hours. Still means we have a shot at being in the running for a performance and we are visualizing like mad.....see us performing there!!! Please, it will help!!

Help...

Here we be. In the middle of Kent Store, Virginia. It's 92 degrees.90% humidity. We are sweating our asses off.

And its the final 12 hours of the Lilith Fair competition.

We are in the final top 10 and keep moving from #1 to #2 and back again...and need your help to get us back to #1.

http://www.ourstage.com/contests/3995-lilith-local-talent-search-indianapolis

Set up an account, takes a minute. Hit the judge tab. Listen to 15 secs of each artist only once. Click through the votes until my cd comes up and give it the highest score you can. And keep voting, as we will come up more than once, through all 45 rounds and know that we send you abundant thank yous.

12 hours left. That's it.

Xxm

....finding a way to live differently

"radically bring about a transformation of the mind...to not accept things as they are...but to understand it, to go into it, exact it, give your heart and mind into finding a way to live differently. But, that depends on you...and not somebody else."   Zeitgeist: Addendum

I started watching the movie below this morning over a cup of coffee. I couldn't sit and watch the whole thing because of time but I know I am going to want to sit down and watch it fully, to understand it. The whole BP fiasco is pissing me off on a whole new level and I just don't want to sit around and wallow in the thought process that nothing I do will make a difference...that its too big and too scarey or that nothing ever changes. That kind of thinking creates complacency and is exactly what the powers that be would love. That way, they can go about their dirty business and we will all keep quiet...letting them line their pockets with the blood of our earth, with the sweat of the people who have gone before us and the people that are out there working for them...sitting in their fucking gold lined offices, probably smoking cigars and laughing it all off.

Hell is too nice a concept for those people.

I am a believer that conversation and engaging with people helps us create change in ourselves and so am grateful that this movie was suggested to me. To at least keep me learning and open and aware and to give ideas about what I actually can do on my own 'martine level'.

It's two hours long but hopefully a lifetime of change will come from that two hours.

xxM

The things you see...

Representing domestic chickens everywhere....

My mate Gini just happened to be here....at earth day.

Xm

ahmmm....and ps, Gini, your chicken zipper is down 

...change

I am realizing with the over taking of Facebook that I *think* I am writing on my blog a lot more than I actually am. Instead of sending notes here, I seem to be sending them more. That's fine though, change is good and necessary and all that stuff.....I know, deep huh??

I am also not sitting in the van for days as much anymore....like I am right now. Seems this is what I do when we are driving to the next show...

Anyway, here we both are. Driving. Heading up to Joliet for shows this weekend...or first time in Illinois this year.

See....that's different too!! Use to be that I had hit IL at least twice by now....

Ahh yes, change.

What would we do without it?

Xxm

.....the most beautius garden in the world

I have been working on my garden a lot the last two weeks. Trying to get everything planted knowing that we were starting to head out on the road more and that time would be limited for a few months. 

I am happy to say, she's planted...she's growing and wow, does she look beautiful. 

I think I would have to say it's the most beautiful garden I have ever seen. 

And yes, I know I am bias.

This whole 'making home' thing has been good for my soul. Good for the balance of my being, it seems. It's also a little worrisome as I woke up the first day on the last tour and realized that I missed our home. That I had started to get really attached to it, which...you know, is not necessarily good for someone who tours for a living. 

I have had to get use to the feeling of 'missing' a lot over the last 12 years so you would think that I was use to it. 

But...nope, not so much. 

It still pangs as hard as it always has. Whether it's people, places, events or now....my garden and my home....it still aches. 

That's okay though because I have realized that I would rather feel everything deeply, truthfully and respectfully, than not at all. Tis no life to live with no feeling, or with a feeling of indifference towards things. 

Do you think if I look at it hard enough, something will grow enough for me to pick it and taste it before I leave again on Friday??

xxM

YES!!!

photo stolen from Jamie Price....thanks mate!!

You know those days when you have a long list of things to do. Things to finish. Things to start. Things to sit and think about a little longer?

And then something happens.

Something that changes everything. None of those things on your list gets done (or hardly any of them) but you really just dont care because the thing you DID do ended up being the greatest thing you could have actually done with the day?

You know THOSE days?

I had one of those days today........

My 'to do' list sitting in my head. A moment with some new friends that was one thing and ended up turning into something else entirely. Something amazing and magical and more unique than anything else in the world.

It was one of those days.....and here is a little moment of evidence to share.

These are some of our new friends here in Indianapolis. Friends that we have magically fallen in with, friends who surely heard the universe whispering into their ears and who came and found us and swept us up into their gracious, honest, welcoming arms.

Our afternoon was spent swapping stories and playing music and drinking margaritas and laughing enormously...and it all happened because we were all willing, in that moment, to be spontaneous.

A moment where we all said...YES.

xxM

(or 'fuck, yeah'...as I would say)

Help us get onto the Lilith Stage!

Okay....heres the 411....THIS IS NOT AN INVITE TO THE GIG....just an invite to vote for us TO GET THE GIG!! We have been floating around in the top 10 since it started and need to remain up there!

It's a lot to ask, I know, but leave us a note on the fan page to let us know you voted and we will pick someone's name out of a hat and send that person a copy of the last 5 cds, a tshirt and a rocker girlie Musekraft piece as a thank you.

The contest is split up into three rounds of voting. The first round is May 1st May 24th to select the Top 20.
If Martine makes it into the Top 20 voting will commence May 25th May 28th to select the Top 10.
If Martine makes it into the Top 10 voting will commence May 29th May 30th for the winner of the Local Talent Search!


Here's what to do........

Sign up on www.ourstage.com with a Fan account

You have the option to sign in using your Facebook account, which helps!

Go to Martine's fan page :
http://www.ourstage.com/profile/martinelocke/fans

In the right-hand column you will see 'Is this your favorite artist?'

Click the green tab that says Make This My Favorite Artist

Go up to the top and click the Judge tab

Over on the right click Lilith Fair Contest

Select Lilith Fair: Indianapolis

Check out their 3 steps to voting!

- Listen to at least 15 seconds of all songs

- Choose which one you like better

- Put it in order of least favourite to best...and click lock in your vote


If you don't get Martine's song 'Don't Hold On' right away, keep clicking through until you do!

Go back to Martine's page and tell us you voted - we would love to know and will put your name into a hat and send one person a copy of the last 5 cds, a tshirt and a rocker girlie Musekraft piece as a thank you.


PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS!!! EVERYWHERE...AROUND THE WORLD!! INVITE THEM ALL....

And thank you....

Who knew....

That tulips could grow on trees? Not me. But it seems this is, indeed, a tulip (not lily) tree...and on this cold Saturday afternoon, that makes me very happy!

Xxm

Friday night!

This Friday night from 5-7pm, my sweet love is having her first ever exhibition premier. Her installation is called 'walkabout' and features photos she took while we were in Australia this year. I am so very proud of her and the work she has done and hope if you are free and live in Indianapolis, that you would consider coming. It's actually up for two months and before we had finish hanging today, one piece already sold.

So....

Bjava tea and coffee
5510 lafayette road

Come and see!

I'll be serving wine!!

Xxm

Oh me oh my o

We're driving back from Ohio...sing along with me everyone!

We are driving back from a oneday craft fair in findlay, Ohio....this is our dinner!!! Not only because we both love vegemite but also because we don't want to stop. We just want to get home.

Musekraft just vended at its first ever craft show and I gotta say, it wasnt very successful. We have been talking about it driving home and really, its the first unsuccessful festival experience we have had in the year that we have been doing them.....and from what everyone tells us, its totally bound to happen.

So now that we have that out of our system.....here's to realizing again to not take it personally and just keep the pony moving forward!!

And, its back to the vegemite sandwiches...which are, of course, the answer to everything!

Xxm

The box.....

So, I bet you never knew that I was so multi talented huh??  .....sometimes, I forget too. You are looking at my first ever raised garden bed. I put it all together with cedar that I bought from Menards. I drilled the holes and screwed the screws and dug the ground and then buried the posts... and not only does it look damn sexy, but it smells amazing.

I am quite proud of my work.

Of course, it's not filled with dirt yet...or thriving vegetables for that matter, but hey, it's together...in place and ready to go. We have to travel this weekend to a show in Findlay, Ohio and I am thinking I need to wait till I get home again to fill it with dirt....and then plant!!!

I am so excited about having my very own garden. One that I can grow amazing vegetables in. One that I can walk outside my back door and pick what I need for that night's dinner. I can't even tell you how excited that makes me feel.

It makes me feel a little settled.....which kinda scares me and excites me all at once.

You gotta understand. I have lived a itinerant life of some kind for the last 12 years. I haven't lived in my own house...with a garden....or a front door that people can just turn up to...for at least 10 of those years. And this is more than just 'my own house'.....we bought it. We own it. I have never owned my own home.

So, it's a little freaky.

Occasionally I get scared that I have 'settled' down and that life will be boring or uneventful or that I will lose my creativity or want to have a baby or something (ha ha....okay, so not all of those things are true...) (breath honey...breath). Occasionally I get scared of the responsibility of owning my own home. I get scared of the work that will always have to be done...of the fear of something going wrong that will cost a lot of money. Of getting bad neighbours that you can't escape.

They are all just fears though....not reality. That's the weird thing about fear...at least for me, I have to back peddle myself out of them and remind myself that they aren't real....they are what 'could' happen. Especially if I spend too much time dwelling on them.

The trick is to stay here...and now. Ever present. Ever grateful for this divine moment, which is unlike any other moment I have ever experienced in my life.

And then, I just have to remember to breath.

And plant tomatoes.....

xxM

the crabby one....

I read on someones blog over the weekend that it seems the only posts that ever get put up on blogs are ones that talk about how wonderful and amazing life is and never the 'life is messy, isn't so wonderful and amazing' posts. Longtime readers of this blog will know that isn't true for me. I tend to put the whole lot out there and have had some really big 'life is fucked' blog posts. 

I do actually believe that my life is wonderful and amazing and most days I am awed by the amazingness of it...

Not so much today. 

I barely slept last night. No real reason except possibly that second cup of LARGE coffee earlier in the day...and no exercise perhaps. But you know, when I lay awake my brain gets bored and starts to stress about things....some of which I was actually stressed about before but had under control, and others that I really wasn't stressed about...until then. 

So I got up and made myself busy around the house until around 4am when I thought I could possibly sleep and stop freaking myself out about things that weren't really that bad....but not so much. Which of course, makes my day so much more fun today.

Infact, I am sure that it is that lack of sleep that caused me to just declared outloud that I don't like being an adult today. 

I don't like trying to find health insurance here in the US that will cover my wife and I and wont cost me a fucking shit load of money for NOTHING. Who knew that health insurance would be so much more expensive living in Indiana than it was California. Well, perhaps not 'so much' more....but still...more!! And hell, I barely get anything for my health insurance now and I pay around $150 a month for it. It's for those 'just in case' moments. I am severely frustrated that most of the plans I looked at don't cover the absolute necessities for women here. 

You know, like a visit to the whohaa doctor. 

SO important and I am unwilling to pay hundreds of dollars a month for insurance that LEAVES THAT OUT.

We LLC'ed last week and I had grand thoughts that trumpets or something would blare on high once we did it. That somehow we (MuseKraft LLC) would be easier to manage and would open up the way for us to have access to 'secret' special company stuff. 

Yeah...so secret and special. 

The $950 a month Aetna tried to slog us for health insurance (for two of us) was anything but special. 

Just incase you were wondering.....I am yelling towards DC hoping that Obama and the dumb republican cronies that are being fuckheads, will hear something from out here in the world and actually get something done for healthcare in this country.  Because this is stupid. 

So...anyway, there you have it. 

My crabby post. I'm in a 'sleep deprived, overwhelmed, pissed off, over the rain' funk and am trying to work out what to do for myself to pull out of it. (Yes, thank you for the suggestions because that's what we all really love....haha, that bit sounds crabby but I am actually giggling as I write it).

If you were to see me right now, I would look very similar to this kiddo here. Walking around the house stamping my feet, my lip hanging out. My year one teacher use to make us sing a song when we were like this; 'nobody loves me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms. Long ones, short ones, fat ones, thin ones. See how they wiggle and squirm.'  

The difference between me and this kid though (and that kid from grade one).....is that I can drink.

(haha...but it's a little too early, even for me)

xxM

The fortunate life...

I feel pretty fortunate in my life, I have to say. I feel like I have been blessed with good art, good people, good friends and an amazing partner. 99% of the people I work with on a yearly basis are solid human beans with integrity and a good sense of humor. I have just moved into a beautiful home that I get to create the life, the art and the space that I want in. I (and we) asked the universe for kind, creative, passionate souls to come fill our lives, our hearts, our home and that is starting to happen. Those days when I feel alone 'out here' trying to catch someones eye or just find connection with folks out in the world get fewer and farther apart.

I suppose all I am trying to say right this second is that I am grateful. Grateful for how I get to live my life. Grateful for the people, the belief, the love, the truth, the honesty. Grateful for friends who know when they can kick my butt and tell me to pull my head in. Grateful for people who love me and like to spend time with me. Grateful for the wonders that have been given to me in this world.

Just grateful.

Grateful for fresh flowers and fresh eggs.....

xxM

Flowing Well park...

Just outside of Indianapolis is a city called carmel, its where D's mum lives. They have a flowing artesian well that they let people come and fill up their water bottles at.

I think its a totally cool idea and I was extraordinarily happy to be standing here in the warmth of the sun doing something as simple as filling up our water bottle. It felt all natural and earthy like, or that I had stumbled upon this amazing gift.

Ahhh Saturday ay home. Only our second one so far and the bbq isn't far from being ready to cook on.

So rock n roll huh?

Xxm

Hmmm

For some reason, this intrigued me. The fact that they would put pesticides right next to pet supplies, it seemed wrong and I actually spent far to much time walking around the store, in a buyers 'setting up house' haze, thinking on this.

Probably wasted a whole pile of time doing it, but you know, sometimes my brain just needs to go meaningless sometimes...you know?

Xxm

The view from here....

It's been fun getting use to living in a new place. We have been working 16 hour days painting and unpacking and are both happily exhausted. I sit here right now listening to all the sounds in and around my home. To me, getting to know sounds is an exciting and sometimes overwhelming experience. Especially if its a train horn waking me up at some ungodly hour in the morning.

I can tell new songs are going to happen. As my sweetheart and I create beauty and life around us, it will pour out into our creativity....and into the world. It's one of the great things about being exactly where you are meant to be. It's all harmonious and easy and stuff....

Yeah....and stuff. Lol.

Xxm

For my brother

Who I am sure, would approve of this...and indeed, probably salivate at the thought. This is my first time at 'steak and shake'....we are in 'too tired to cook' land right now. Junk food is our friend for this second....

Xxm

The things you find...

We keep finding fun things in our new house....this is my latest. The gardening gnome...who knew that oneday I would own a gnome.

Xxm

31 hours...

Of driving....and we are finally here. And I'm not going anywhere for the next month.

Who knew I would oneday be happy to see this sign.

Xxm

Tile mania....

We are in Santa Fe, New Mexico and just walked through the most amazing tile showroom. We are finally, after 5 months of traveling, on the way to our home. We are in 'creation' mode. Finding the things we adore to put into our new home.

One of those things is tile.

Who knew that such beautiful tile could thrill me as much as it did. All handmade and superbly made. That is the mandate for our home.

Xxm

Flagstaff, Arizona

Now, don't no one be saying that I haven't done winter....

Here it is.

Today.

And brr..is it cold.

Xxm

Just call me..

Martine the boo boo fixer..my first act this morning as a married woman was to fix my sweethearts boo boo. This was my solution.

We are back in the van, driving half way across the country. Our 'stuff' is on a pod making its way across also. We get to stop in some yummy fun places along the way. Our stuff doesn't.

We are tired and weary from...well, the last 5 months of traveling. We are both giddy with the thought of unpacking into our house...at last.

Life is grand and beautiful.

Xxm

Today

My sweet love, 40 of our closest peeps, beautiful candles and food and wine and love.

We are blessed by those that stood with us.

Happy wedding to us

Xxm

Wedding mates part 1

Or something....great mates, celebrating with us

THE week....

This week is a flurry of activity in our lives. Actually, the last 12 months has been a flurry of activity. I can't tell you the amount of times people have said to us 'you don't do things by halves, do you?'. And well, the answer is 'NO....what's the point in that?'

Dionne and I get married this saturday in an amazingly beautiful ceremony with our family and closest friends around us - whether in real life or virtually. My family and mates in Oz are logging in online to watch the ceremony via the complexities of webcam and although not the same as having them here, at least I can feel like they are involved. We have mates and family flying in from all over the country and the world and the feeling of excitement in people just furthers our excitement.

Often times over the last week, I have looked at my sweet love and felt tears falling from my eyes. How lucky I feel. How loved I feel. How much I love how much I love her.

I look at the pile of hundreds of candles we have bought, the colors we have chosen, the people's names that are coming, the beautiful food that is being created, the cupcake wedding cake that is being made, the songs that are being sung, the person that is officiating our ceremony (wonderful funny lady Lisa Koch is coming in from Seattle to do the honors), the wine that will be drunk, the fire that will be built, the music that will be played......and then I catch the look in her eye, the one that she gets when she is just sitting looking at me as I think on all these things, and I feel the water rise into my eyes and my heart burst with absolute passionate love for this person.

At that time, I sigh and say thank you to the world. To the universe. To whatever powers make things be. To her. To me. To this love that we have found with each other.

And then...

I smile.

xxM

One week....

Today....

I become her wife.7 more days.

How lucky am I?

I ask you.....

New for Mothers Day!

So, new in MuseKraft land is this piece that we made for Mother's Day. Check it out at our site www.musekraft.com or at our etsy site where you can custom order your own piece, with your own words on it if you choose. It's a beautiful piece and I wear this exact one around me neck.

We will be putting up new pieces especially for mothers day really soon, so keep checking back!

xxM

Picture perfect...

Driving back to LA today, we happened upon this beautiful body of water.I think its the San Gabriel something arother. We pulled off the road and D went climbing down the hill with her camera in tow to try to capture the moment.

We did our last show in sf last night and caught up with the last mates this morning and now we head back to get ready for our wedding and for our move into our home. We are very excited and so ready....

Xxm

Tonight....

This is the space for tonights house concert at Cindys. It's warm, its sweet, its Cindy Buck for goodness sake.

Xxm

Harris Farm Ranch

This is what it makes us do everytime we drive past. The stink of cows poop make us want to cry. Imagine if that was what people thought of when they thought on you (I only know a few things and one person that causes the same reaction). Oh poor cows at Harris ranch....

Xxm

There's snow on den der hills...

Ha! I can hear my Midwest friends say...that's not snow!!! Yes, tis true but hopefully all the snow my chicken butt is going to see.

We are bound for my beloved Bay Area for a weekend of shows and fun things with friends. The first lot of mates fly in for our wedding this week too. Mates kerrie and rachel come in from my hometown, Adelaide. They come into the usa for the first time ever and are hitting some fun west coast spots before the wedding.

Anyway, its a big month in our world...another one, and we are excited for it all...and, in 4 weeks...we get to move into our house. After 5 months of being away from her, I can hear her loud and clear.

Xxm

Some things just aren't sacred....

And of course I mean the selling of an inferior brand of tim tams at ralphs grocery store here in the usa.

I think I stood and looked with my mouth open wide....shocked and appalled I tell you. Arnotts biscuits...what were you thinking when you sold them a license to use???

Xxm

The day..

Is coming to an end as we made the drive back to LA from Las Vegas. I think its a great way to combat jet lag...perhaps.

We have 4 weeks till we get married and everything is ready...except what we are wearing so part of today was spent clothes shopping. It was mostly fun and we are definitely well on our way. We have mates flying in from all over the country, and the world and we are both giddy with excitement over it all.

This is what I think on out here in the Nevada desert this monday.

Xxm