One Year.....

One year ago today...or actually, yesterday in real life days (as opposed to dates), I kissed Dionne for the first time. We had become friends in December of 07 (after first meeting in Indianapolis a few years prior) and had spent a lot of time talking to each other about relationships and life. She had been a great friend and adviser to me during my bad patch last year and then I to her after that and slowly along the way we became closer and closer until one day I got a text off her that said 'why is it that every time i think about calling you, I feel like a fucking teenager'.

I remember the way my face hurt from smiling so hard.

I called her right away and we talked and giggled our way through a conversation about how we were feeling, that lead into other conversations about even deeper feelings and badda bing....we both had an 'oh ohhhh' moment.

I was going to play at the Utah womens festival in August and was scheduled to hang out in San Francisco for a few weeks after that and to play the NorCal Womens festival. I headed off to Utah with a plan to head down to LA for a few days at the end of my tour to spend some real life eye to eye time with D to 'see how it felt'. The night before I left Utah, I changed my plane tickets to fly out at 6am the next morning straight to LA. I knew I couldn't wait a few weeks....I knew that despite everything that had happened to me previously, that I HAD to be fully present and just dive....and so I did.

The rest, as they say, is history. Or in this case...her-story.

I landed in LA that morning after driving for three hours to get to the airport by 6am and walked through the doors at the airport and felt my heart leap when I saw her standing there waiting for me. A huge grin on her face. Her beautiful eyes already looking at me with so much love and so much excitement.

I remember that I had this huge plan to kiss her in the elevator on the way up to the car park...which was thwarted when a pile of people got into the elevator and stood between us. I remember touching her arm for the first time when we got into the car...and how we both giggled like little kids. I remember being giddy with excitement and expectation and still, a little scared about what I was feeling and what it would mean to my life. I remember how much my face hurt from smiling...and how much my belly hurt from laughing.

I remember so many things, most of which I won't bore you with.

All of that, was one year ago today.

We have had a hell of a year, let me tell you. Falling in love; traveling between two cities; falling in love more; D's brother Tyler getting sick and then passing away tragically and so unexpectedly; moving to LA; falling more in love; developing a plan/idea to have D come out on the road with me; D quitting her job; packing up our apartment and putting our home...our new home..in storage; driving all over the country doing some amazing and really shitty gigs and shows; using Indianapolis (a place D use to live and said she would never live in again) as a home base; deciding that, for a time, we would use Indy as a base; looking for a house; touring and trying to develop a creative business in a depressed economy; falling more in love; planning trips around the world; learning how to be more honest and more direct with what we want and need....and hell, I am tired just typing all of that out. It's been a HUGE year.....and there is only one thing I would change if I could, because I would have loved the opportunity to know Tyler more.

And here we sit....our first anniversary.

I am so unbelievably thankful that her smiling eyes are the first thing I see every morning. I still laugh out loud when I open my sleepy eyes every morning and see her looking back at me with a big smile on her face. I feel so honored to be loved and cherished by such an amazing woman. I feel so blessed that this is my life, that we are working it out together...that we are on the same page with what we want in this life and in this relationship. That we lay ourselves on the line towards one another in our honesty and vulnerability and desire to be the best that we can be for ourselves and towards one another....knowing that belief and desire can only do good in the world and in us. I am so proud of her, of who she chooses and desires to be in the world. I am inspired by her journey and in her laughter and in her eyes.

I love her and will soon stand in front of our friends and loved ones and proudly marry her....knowing that it is she I desire to be with, that it is she I fall more in love with daily, that it is she that the universe brought to me, when I least expected it.

And that it is she, sitting across from me on this august morning, that I am about to stand up and walk towards...and lay a big sloppy one on her sweet lips.

Coz it is she, that I am thankful for.

So much so, that it makes my heart want to pop with glee.....