Its a rainy Wednesday here in Burbank, I am still in shorts but a little chilly in a 'nice to be chilly' kinda way. 1 1/2 cups of coffee into my day that started in a swirl of mental activity.
Where to tour next ; how to work and book 4 months ahead; how to maintain where I have toured and break new ground; how not to be tired of being turned down by festivals and venues and how to continue to not take it personally when people can't even be bothered responding to you; how to continue to expand my creative world (new hand stamped silver necklaces are the latest creative task) whilst continuing to book tours; how to continue to bring in enough income; when to sit and wait it out and when to push hard; how to create a passionate creative life with my sweetheart with both of us being fulfilled and excited by that life; how to travel and where to travel next; how not to get overwhelmed with all the 'how to's'.
Every day when I get up I am responsible for working out the next part...the next job....the next dollar...the next idea. The up side of that is that I get to create the exact life I want, on my terms. The down side of it is that no one else is going to tell me what to do and where (or is that an upside too?) and that sometimes being the master of my destiny gets tiring.
I have been trying to teach myself, this past year, to trust in the 'great plan' the 'universe' and the idea that everything happens at the right time, in the right place whilst still forging ahead and reaching for my dream and finding some sense of balance with that.
But damn....it can just be tough to work out sometimes.
So its back to the doodling for now, hoping for a clue....
Smoggy LA, waiting for rain. A top the highest point we could find, thinking about Tyler on his birthday. Wishing we were celebrating with him in person rather than in spirit.
I watch as my girl, my love, my sweetheart; finds a place to spread some of his ashes, in a way that is meaningful to her. I can't even fathom the depth of the heart ache and the grief she feels. Its a solitary grief and all I can do is hold her hand and kiss her tears away.
Strange how one can wake up in the morning and the whole country feels anew. The sense of excitement and joy and hope in people is palpable and I for one am doing a happy dance.
Mr Bush is safely putting up his feet on the ranch right now, which is not a lot different to his normal ways over the past 8 years and I, like so many here say, enjoy it and good bye. The canned crowd noise at this mornings inauguration covered the boo's that were heard across the million people that were there. It feels like a new day, with new hope and I am honored to have witnessed it. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Yay for Obama. Protection for Obama. Gratitude for Obama.
This is a photo of my mate KC (from Chicago), Dionne, Me and my friend Kimberley (from San Francisco) outside Universal Studios on Friday. We spent the day on rides and well....drinking beer at a brew pub in between rides honestly. At one point we went into the horror movie display thingy (after two beers I might add, which is a lot for me), turns out it was actually like a house of horrors where people dressed up in zombie/dead people kinda outfits jump out at you as you are walking through.
I gotta tell you....
I laughed so hard my tummy hurt afterward. KC and Kimberley were the reason for my laughter as they both pretty much pee'ed their pants walking through it from screaming so hard. At one point Kimberley turns around and yells at one of the scare-ees and tells him to stop it....one of the universal attendants looks at her and says plainly, 'ma'am, it's his job'. The funny thing is that none of the jumping out kinda people came after Dionne or I because we just casually walked through it, laughing our asses off at KC and Kimbo screaming behind us as EVERY scarey person jumped out at them. (Actually, at one point I beat the dude to it and ran screaming at him before he could do it to me). I know there's some deep and meaningful thing in there about fear etc..but for right now, I am just gonna hold my tummy a little more and laugh at that image.
What fun it was.
Oh, and today if you watch the Ellen show, look for us on the right hand side of the audience...I am the one waving my arms in the air trying to get the camera's attention. I know...that's a bit of a shocker isn't it?
So, the birthday celebrations are almost done. We just dropped KC off at the airport and are on our way to the other airport to drop Kimberley off. Twas a weekend of great fun, big belly laughs and a tremendous amount of amazing food prepared by loving hands. I feel so wonderfully fortunate to have the mates I do.
Now, I need to go home and have a nap and exercise some. Thanks for the birthday wishes mates, very much appreciated all the way around. What a journey this life is......
Xxm
Ps thanks to Kelli from chilly illinois who sent me this great photo!! Love it mate!!
We are at point dume and its an amazing day. I am a beach snob at the best of times and LA beaches don't impress me but down here, off Malibu, its beautiful. I would always come here (not if busselton or duns was my first choice but....).
Anyway, the dolphins turned out to play for my bday. I felt very honored as I sat here with my mates. Relaxed and laughing, taking the beauty of the moment in. The air smells awesome, the sun is comfortable, the friends are true.
We just left the Ellen show where the surprise guest was George Clooney!! Seems Ellen has been trying for over a year to get him on the show, and today was the day!!!
It was a lot of fun, albeit a little chilly....which I know is nothing compared to some of the chilly some of you are experiencing....but I send you fire, to bring you warmth!!
Dinner at houstons is up now....their ribs are insanely good!!!
Xxm
Ps....the show airs Monday!! Look for us up in the left hand corner!!!
My friend, and regular blog commentor, KC is flying in tonight from Chicago. I am not sure she is going to know what hit her when she gets here....it's been in the 80's all week and will continue to be that warm the whole time she is here. I wonder if she will want to go home...I know I sure as hell wouldn't. Anyway, she had to go thru Denver to get here though and is coming in late. I just realized I haven't driven to LAX by myself before....thank goodness for tom tom tom.
Anyway, its my birthday Friday and KC and my mate Kimberley are flying in for the weekend. Once again, I had a moment where I thought on where I was this time last year and aside from the fun dinner I had with mates at LeeLee's house...I am glad to be here, in this place, a year away from the situation I was in then....so glad. Eeck. I literally shudder to think of it all now.
So, we have tickets to the Ellen show tomorrow and tickets to Universal Studios and a fantastic dinner with 12 of my closest mates here. I am excited for the weekend to start...to be here...to have all that yummy energy swirling around.
In other news, Ricardo Montalban passed away today. He was Mr Roake on fantasy island....use to love that show (hence the above subject line).
Anyway, 11.15PM so far, let's hope LA traffic is done by then....lol.
The view from here.... Originally uploaded by martine.lockeI am standing beneath the orange tree in our backyard. Its heavy and full of oranges that I am picking to squeeze because I feel like fresh orange juice.
The sky is blue and the temperature read 87 on my bike as I rode through the streets, the soft warm air in my face.
My home, our home, awaiting me. A place filled with love, laughter, wonder and creativity.
We spent the day in the studio again today. Trying out different sounds and learning. This is the first time I have wanted to learn the 'other side' of recording as well and D and I are surely on a learning curve together. Appreciate the song requests....I do find it interesting that everyone so far has requested songs that are already acoustic...just me and my guitar kinda songs. Which tells me the acoustic CD is over due. So, thanks for your patience.
Now, we are headed to the favorite Mexican restaurant, viva fresh, for margaritas....oh, and possibly a little food.
Yes, you see the strangest things while stuck in boring traffic on a Saturday night in LA.....flying turtles!!! I just tried to spell that word and my phone tried to spell it 'tieyle' what the fuck is a 'yietle'....oh dear.
We spent the day in the studio today...laying down a brand new song that I think you are going to love. Have been getting suggestions from people about what songs I should record on this CD (if you haven't signed up to my mailing list, do so now to be included in that conversation).
I just went to see the movie 'Milk', which is the story of gay rights activist Harvey Milk who, along with the then mayor of San Francisco, was gunned down in City Hall in 1978. I had known who Harvey Milk was because of living in San Francisco but had never really gotten to know his story and journey very well.
Let me say, if you haven't seen this movie, go. It's an amazing, inspiring movie that also left me thinking. I sat and cried a few times throughout the movie, not just because his story and his path to that day in 1978 moved me to tears, but well, for many reasons.
One was understanding just a little more how I get to stand on the shoulders of those gone before me. I haven't had the shit beaten out of me in a riot, or been arrested for my sexuality in a bar or on the street or minding my own business, or had my family hate me because of my life. I have been shunned by a community of people, I believed were my friends and family, in the name of religion. I have hidden my choice and my life because of fear. But I have marched and been proudly out now for a number of years. I have that luxury because of the passion and the zealousness that people like Harvey Milk had. He lost everything, including his life, because he believed in the equality of gay people so much. He was willing to lay it all down to see that realized.
I cried because of proposition 8 and the fact that it passed here in California 30 years after the death and achievements of Harvey Milk and his crew. It astounded me because 30 years later, people here STILL haven't learned. Bigots, religious zealots, prejudice and hatred STILL have so much power in law AND religion is STILL interfering in the lives of people who don't welcome it, don't believe it and have never asked for it.
I am not a citizen here but believe me, proposition 8 effects me in so many ways...as it does ALL of us, regardless of where we live...and even if it didn't...I would like to think that I would still be outraged by it's passing because of the unconstitutional, disrespectful, downright nastiness of the proposition in the first place.
Anita Bryant was one of the religious people who went on a campaign to prevent gay equality in the 70's. As Harvey Milk became a spokesperson for gay rights, Anita Bryant became the spokesperson for the Christian fundamentalists in this country who saw homosexuality as being an abomination, against God's law and the natural order of things. The fact that she could lead such a campaign whilst speaking of God's love never ceases to amaze me. That somehow one has given right to the other.
As part of her crusade she made statements of belief such as: "If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nail biters." You know...I would be doubly fucked....I am gay AND I bite my nails. I found it interesting to read that after her world began to collapse...her failed marriage (she was shunned by believers of her own religion because of this), her loss of income and career (she was/is a singer), her failed businesses and bankruptcy...that she started to apologize for the anti gay things she had said & done and her new attitude towards life became 'live and let live'. I wonder if Jerry Falwell and her are still mates.
I had a moment today were I wondered really, how many kids committed suicide because of the statements she made..that parents trusted and believed and communities upheld as truth and went on witch hunts baring placards pronouncing to the world.
'The fact is that more people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, THAT my friends, is true perversion.'
Beautiful 72 degree day today in sunny Burbank....the sky was an amazing shade of blue. I love how I forget I actually live in LA...I always said I would never want to live here, but living in Burbank is actually far enough away from it all and still green and pretty..and you can still smell the grass.
It's my birthday next week and my mates Kathleen and Kimberley are flying in from Chicago and San Francisco respectively. We have tickets to go watch the taping of the Ellen show on Thursday, spending the day at Universal Studios on Friday and then doing dinner with a crew of mates on Saturday...you know, the type of dinner where you all pitch in and make it happen together. Love that stuff.
So, a few folks have queried on my lack of blogging lately...it's mostly because there is some problem between T Mobile and Blogger and they have stopped talking to each other. I use to be able to update my blogs from my phone and send them real time...now, not so easy. Still trying to come up with a solution while the phone company and blogger work it out.
People leave the strangest things out on the street...hoping that other people will claim them. I am certain (from past experience) that part of the reason is because they are hoping they don't have to take care of it any further than putting it out on the street, and then because they are hoping to recycle the item rather than throw it away.
I have had a lot of practice putting items on the street in San Francisco and literally within minutes (sometimes just as I am turning my back away from it), someone had claimed it. So, we tried an experiment the other week here in suburban Glendale.....we had this huge clunky tv that weighed a tonne and no idea really what to do with it but knew we wanted to get rid of it right away (to make room for our shiny new tv..and because it SO wouldn't fit in our weeny apartment). We carried it out onto the sidewalk and put a note on it that said - 'working and free'. Went out for less than 20 minutes..came home..the thing was gone. I was rather happy about it all...both from a recycling and a lazy ass point of view.
When we were out on a walk today I noticed this beautiful piece of art sitting out there...and truely, if I could make it permanent and slap a sign on it, I would call it art. It's one of those Thai bird cages (that are actually mean't to be really bad for birds coz they eat the wood and it makes them sick...but I digress). I had some great thought process as I was looking at it...on one side the door is slammed shut and on the other the door is knocked down. I had this mini fantasy of birds staging a raid to save their mate from impending sickness...and then of course I looked for the similarities in this image to my world.
Mostly, because I was already thinking about it, I realised the symbolism for me lay in the idea that we can choose to live in a cage with the doors locked tight, or we can choose to knock them all down and live the lives we want and dream of.
It's ALL about choice.
Me and my girl are talking a lot about what we want our life and our lives to look like. How we can work together and inspire each other to live the creative full lives that we both want and desire..how we can do that together. There is risk involved in it for both of us and mostly its in the form of those nasty 'you are going to fail' voices that play in our heads....I get so tired of them. They are nasty, unwelcome little buggers.
I know at the end of the day, its our choice...doors open or doors locked?
After 9 years of coming to LA, today, I FINALLY went to the Getty Museum.
AND IT WAS FUCKING FREEZING...seriously.
No cold days for weeks and bang...today is cold. And fogged in. The Getty has amazing views, and none of them were to be seen today because of the fog. But the cold...damn.
Well.....
I know. I know. I shouldn't be complaining.
I keep hearing about the cold that some of you are putting up with and I swear, I know I got it good over this way. The fact that it's the middle of winter here and New Years day I sat by the pool and read magazines until I got too hot.
I know, I get it.
But I think I have become a wuss bag with weather. Or, I just need to buy some warmer clothes. I wonder if I just refuse to buy them because I refuse to exist in cold weather...that might be it.
Anyway, the Getty was still beautiful even though we had to line up EVERYWHERE....might have been a bad time of year, or time of the week to go. The parking, the tram, the toilet, the coffee..and almost some of the more famous artwork. All lines. Art museums make me a little sleepy though. I even went to the Louvre in Paris and wanted to have a nap. Not because it was boring, not one bit. Just it's always so dark and warm and quiet in those places, it makes me kinda take it all down a notch and get all sleepy and relaxed.
I have had the most beautiful two days. What a great way to start the new year. Woke up with great mates...after a party, amazing food and wine and midnight celebrations...and then playing Rock Band till 4.30am. But more than anything, the past two days have just held lots of beauty....and I think a PERFECT way to set the tone for the next year...and many years I hope.
Here's to beauty my friends...and standing outside the Getty, freezing my ass off
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us"~ Joseph Campbell
I cried when I first read this quote.....those straight from your heart and out your eyes kind of tears.
2008 has been such a big year in the life and heart of this little Aussie and I believe I have been grappling with the lesson this quote is trying to share with us. I think 2008 broke me in ways I haven't been broken before..deep, personal, life altering kinda ways...but it also rebuilt me in ways I have wished for in the past and wondered how to achieve. (footnote to self...be careful what you wish for).
My year in a nutshell went something like this:
- moved into a new place in Emeryville, CA - finished recording my new cd - missed my family like crazy - went to Australia for a month to visit family and do shows - lost my luggage for 6 days whilst there - came back to the US and left my home and community of 8 years and moved to Chicago - got involved with a pathological liar who somehow got under my radar and stomped my heart hard (although not so much under the radar of mates that met her along the way) - learned I probably need to listen to my mates a little more - understood for a moment the concept of hating - and then understood how destructive to self that hate can be - learned about boundaries and when to put them up and hold them up real tight - I learned how to bounce someones emails - started to listen to my own intuition more - built a new website - released my new amazing cd - experienced living in some version of snow for the first time ever - built my first snow kangaroo - experienced anxiety attacks for the first time - stopped eating because of aforementioned anxiety attacks - took anti anxiety medication (all 20 of them) (not at once of course) for the first time and felt better - stopped having anxiety attacks and stopped taking it - played some great shows...festivals and house concerts - played with some great people - got fit - hung out with great mates - created a garden - toured through some new towns - got to know some old friends again - made a new community and was enveloped in the beautiful arms of my existing one - felt truly blessed by the people that found me - found my love of cycling again - wrote a shit load of poems - released my first poetry chapbook - played shows with more passion, energy, vulnerability and truth than ever before - wrote some great new tunes - met new, wonderful people - watched audience turn out increase around the country - learnt me better - had my heart and soul swept away by an amazing, beautiful, honest woman - fell madly in love with her - stood by my love as she tragically lost her beautiful little brother - had my heart broken as I mourned the loss of a man I didn't know and now will never know - fell in love some more - moved back to California to be with her - said 'yes' but 'ask me again' in a few months - made new friends in LA and re-established relationships with old, very dear, ones - started recording a new cd - got creative in a whole pile of new and interesting ways - learned about trusting again - got to spend another year doing what I love, being connected with the people I love, by the songs and stories that I love
In all honesty, there are a few things I would change about this year if I could..but I also know that all those things combined have brought me to where I am and made me who I am this year...so...if I truly believe things happen for a reason then, even if I don't fully understand it all, I have to also believe that everything had to happen in its time to bring me here.
And for that...and for your support, friendship, belief and love....
I am thankful.
Wishing you love, honesty, peace, creativity and another year of journey and this thing we call life.
Okay, so I confess. I get crazy making bored sometimes. I love to work. I love to be out on the road and doing my thing, playing music, interacting.
When I am not...and just hanging out, I get silly bored sometimes.
I try to pick up my guitar and write, I try to read, I try to knit, I try to just be, I try to make things and be creative, I try to go outside and walk..but then there's just sometimes when I just get bored and nothing sounds particularly good. If I had a mate who lived around the corner, I would go hang out with them right now..that would be fun right now (where are you KC and why do YOU live so far away right now?! lol). But I don't. My mates here in LA all live miles away in traffuck and I am still getting the hang of this city and what I do here when I am not working or hanging out with my sweetheart or doing all these other things that keep my brain entertained. It's all good, but this is just a moment of boredom confession (and no, I don't really need suggestions of what to do, coz I do have them myself...just making sure I am not alone in my random moments of boredom).
I just realized this as sat here and watched the repair man put our heating/air conditioner thing back together (he tried to fix it and couldn't).
Here he is:
SEE how bored I am?!
xxM
footnote....the airconditioner man isn't actually as wide as this photo makes him look, I will have to remember that.
We hiked up Wildwood Canyon park today in an attempt to get out of the house (and away from our new 32" HD TV that Santa brought us) (and blue ray dvd player) (slobber)...and actually do some exercise. Exercise has been rather lacking over this way in a 'all gooey in love and all I want to do is gaze into your eyes and never go outside' kinda way. Funny considering I was riding almost 100 miles a week....I will get back to some version of that SOON..I know I will. This is just a moment and the moment will change and become a different moment...soon. Oh.....now. No...now. I mean.....
Anyway, we huffed and puffed as we walked and ran straight up the hill and then ran down the other side of the bloody HUGE mountain...we got to the bottom, all sweaty and tired, and looked at each other and started back up again. Not sure why really..I think it was a moment of delirium that comes with oxygen inhalation. We got to the top again and I was looking up at my sweetheart as she caught her breath and took this photo. She doesn't like it so much, but I liked the dreamer feeling it gave me...the 'on top of the world' flavor. The 'I can do anything' feeling that I feel when I look at it. It inspires me.
Then we ran down the side we started all sweaty and laughing (and breathing hard) and felt better knowing that we took ourselves out of our blubber-ness and gave our bods what we needed. And then tomorrow, we will just do it again....
This made me cry and inspired me to want to live EVEN more creatively than I do.
To be exposed to the world and open to the journey of creativity..just to see where it leads.
In the last week of 2008 I have been reflecting a lot on the past year. Thinking about my goals and dreams for 2009 but also thinking on the things I am grateful to leave behind in it, on the things that I am thank-filled for and the hard hard lessons I have learn't this year. The friends I have made, the new love I have, the quest for wholeness and honesty and only what brings good into my life and the lives of others. I have been inspired, and touched and reached out to and soothed and loved on by new and old, very dear, friends. I have said goodbye to some things and some people and good riddance to others. I have said hello to many wonderful wonderful wonderful souls and experiences. And I have said 'NO FUCKING WAY'...many times...in good and bad ways.
I have traveled and played music and hung out with mates. Stayed in peoples houses,become a part of their world for a moment and sometimes longer than a moment. I have had my heart broken and rebuilt again. I have been deceived and found faith in truth and people again. I have written and created and sung and played and drawn and crafted and designed and dreamt. I have lost 27 pounds and recently found some of that again (doah). I have moved twice...to two new cities.
I still have curly hair.
I still love what I do and feel outrageously blessed to do what I do. I released a new cd and started another one. I got to see a few new cities in this country and played some new festivals and in some new peoples homes. I released my first poetry chapbook. I found a whole new level of creativity, that I thought was there...but wasn't sure.
This year, I laughed harder than I ever have but also cried harder.
And because of all of this, I am different. My heart will never be the same.
So, now I leave you with this 7 minutes of lovely inspiration. Did it make you cry too? Did it scare you? (it scared me a little in a 'oh, I could never come up with anything like that' kinda way). Did it excite you and make you just want to DO IT?
Great article in Time Magazine about President-Elect Obama's choice of minister for the inauguration ceremony in January. It's created a pretty big shit storm over this way, given the insult a lot of gay people who supported him are feeling has been directed at them by his choice. The link for the article, incase you are interested: TIME. Well worth a read...
this is the view walking back to my house tonight.....it wasn't raining....which made me happy.
If you were standing next to me though, you would hear: a bazillion birds who are singing happily either because it has stopped raining and they aren't shivering anymore, or because it rained and now everything is clean. A helicopter, looking for someone. One of those ice cream trucks with the annoying song that stays in your head for days. The din of traffic from the main road. Kids laughing hard inside a house somewhere. The slap of my running shoe as it hit the ground. Water running down a drain pipe somewhere. Either a kid or a little dog barking. The beeping of a truck as it backs up. The splash of a car going through a puddle of water. A dog howling for it's owner to come home. Another helicopter. The squeak of a gate as it opens.
Funny thing is, I don't consider here to be a very noisy place. Especially not after living in the middle of San Francisco for 7 years. But I realize more and more how things just past us by...we are in our own little head spaces and we miss so much. At least I do. I should talk first person. I miss out on so much because I am thinking about 'later' way too much. Today, I closed my eyes and listened for a moment and this is what I heard....all in just ONE moment.
We went to D's work xmas party on Saturday night. It was a pretty tame affair until we had all consumed alcohol and a group of us ended up at a gay club called 'Oil Can Harrys'. There we danced and drank vodka in iridescent glasses and hung out with lots of beautiful gay boys. It was a lot of fun. I liked that I could love on my sweetheart with no one barely batting an eye lid..and quite honestly, when people do notice, I don't even notice them noticing and am usually quite surprised later to learn of their stares. For some reason, I think touching and loving on the woman I love is the most natural thing in the world for me to do and I forget that sometimes people have a problem with it. The times when I do catch someones eye as they are staring horrified, I usually just smile gently at them and hold their stare...quite honestly, as if to say, 'oh, you poor thing'.
I am happy to report that all my xmas shopping is all done....check out www.etsy.com if you like to buy one of a kind pieces of art for people. I adore the site and have bought most of my presents from there. D and I are going to set up a store on their over the new years and start selling our 'other creative' wares. She takes amazing photographs and sketches and we have been quite crafty together over the holidays...making cards and stuff for friends. It's all part of the quest of having a creative life..and what that looks like in it's wholeness. I think sometimes being creative just involves us not being scared to try something. To let the creative flow out of us and not stop it with our judgements or insecurities.
Anyway, these are my monday ponderings. It's chilly here in SoCal...but it was nice to lay in bed throughout the night and listen to the rain fall on the roof..and then of course, to wake up and everything be all fresh and clean. Love that.
10 days till xmas mates.....damn, where the hell has this year gone?
Today, we begin recording. This is a mixed recording session. Going to record the song that D sang at Tylers memorial service (which will be available as a digital download) and then start on the acoustic tunes that I will put on a acoustic CD to release next year. D and her co worker, Brooke, are engineering the project here at Chase sound in Burbank. We are recording on what is normally used as their Foley stage (Foley sound is all the noises you hear on movies....they go in later and re-record things like footsteps etc).
These are the lights in our apartment that we put up today (I referenced it in the twitter update thingy on the side over there....(to the right)...i like twitter). I just cracked a bottle of Malbec and am sitting here in the twilight in Burbank, looking at the lights. I like lights. I would keep them up for always coz I like the ambiance they create.
Xmas celebrations go into full steam this weekend with work parties, mates parties and then the big week of xmas-new years....AND I begin recording on Saturday. I know...crazy and last minute it seems but this is the beginning of a new all acoustic cd that I will plan to release by Spring next year. Dionne sang a new version of Fall From Grace at her bro's memorial service a few weeks back and it was so divinely beautiful that we decided it needed to be recorded. So...we start with that and 'Never Been The Same'....my new 'fuck you' song. If' you've been at a show lately, you've heard it, along with the tale that goes with it.
Anyway...I feel like there is a lot to celebrate this holiday season. I remember where I was this time last year and am so grateful to be done with that time that I want to celebrate twice as hard this year. I answered 10 questions yesterday about the past year and where I was and how I am different this year....it was pretty good to read about my own growth and journey..and parts of it was pretty painful too, still. It was all part of my quest to honor the past year and to recognise the work I have done, take a moment to reflect on it and then to think about the coming year and my hopes and dreams for it. I want to share the questions with you...incase you are looking for an opportunity to reflect on the past year and pat yourself on the back for it before moving into next year. If you feel like sharing your answers, or any part of them, drop me a comment....I would love to read.
Here they are:
1.How is where you are in life today different from where you were last December?
2.How are you different today, internally, than you were a year ago?
3. Of all you've experienced in the past year, what are you the most proud of?
4.What did you shy away from in 2008 that you wish you'd gone for?
5.What did you learn about yourself this year?
6.Who impacted your life the most this past year?
7.What are the most important lessons you learned in 2008 that you want to be conscious of in 2009?
8.What are you being called to next in your personal growth?
9.If you could create three things in your life the coming year, what would they be?
10.What parts of yourself will you need to call upon to create those three things with wild success in 2009?
Enjoy the journey mates....
Now, back to the Malbec and the pretty blue lights.
So mates, I have put together a last minute xmas present deal for those of you still looking for Xmas presents.
Available until January 1st, 2009 I am selling cds directly from me...which means you can get them signed and mailed to your favourite gift receiving person. ALSO..I will even throw in a handmade Xmas card signed from me AND you..to the recipient. Below are four deals for you to choose from - they include CD's and Poetry books.....all come with a handmade Xmas card!
Get your order in NOW so I can get them out to your mates in time!
xxM
ps..drop me a line if you would like to add a tshirt to your order. I have a limited quantity of XL & L 'I quit the band now I just play with myself' tshirts that I can also put into your order for an extra $15 plus an extra $2 shipping.
So me and my girl are minding our own business at the local Mexican restaurant, drinking margaritas and being all happy. Noticing all these musicians walk in with their instruments, but not thinking too much of it.
Until suddenly.
BANG!
This bloody million piece big band starts to play in the back room. Its making us want to dance all romantic like with each other. Might be the tequila effect or just love in the air...
The Glen Roberts big band is who it be. And they are rather good, even with tequila. It makes us want to dance and gaze lovingly into each others eyes. Oh dear, I am a soppy in love kind of person.
I am sitting here making xmas cards and wrapping presents. Trying to get it all done now so I don't freak out like the rest of the country two days before, when I realize I don't have enough presents.
If I could...I would make every present I give. THAT would take some planning. As it is, I have made a few and am making all my cards at least...but one year, I am definitely going to JUST give presents I have made.
Right now though, I am up to my ears in stars and glitter....and my brain is brimming with ideas of things I want to do......
This is my nephew, Ethan. He likes watermelon....you wouldn't know it from this photo though. I think this might be the 'please don't take my photo' face...or the 'grrr...I am being scarey' face...or maybe just the 'I just did a poo face'...at least, that's what mine looks like usually.
I am missing out on seeing my family this xmas, first time in 8 years I haven't been back in Jan/Feb or thereabouts. Mostly it's because my visa has to be renewed next year and I have to fly back to Australia to pick it up, which means a trip towards the end of the year but it's also coz of the fear surrounding this economy right now. I really try hard to find the balance between being educated and buying into fear. For about 12 years now I have been a full time musician and earnt a living from being creative...and the universe has looked after me the whole way. So...why would it stop now (telling myself that too). Anyway, I miss my family a lot and know that I am missing out on my niece and nephews growing up. That's a fine line too. Fortunately, my family get what I do and why I do it and are supportive of it. But still...there's the missing to deal with. I just wanted to put this photo of him up because I love looking at him...and his face made me laugh. And because I miss him.
I am in planning mode right now. I went for a huge long bike ride yesterday and stopped for a few hours in between to write about plans and visions and dreams with my sweetheart...just to get it all out on paper and start making it real. Great new ideas for next year....new recordings...new merchandise....new web thingys... and of course moving to LA has opened up a whole world of film/tv song placement opportunities, which I am excited about. There's no sleeping on this job....or for anyone that is self employed for that matter. Every morning we have to get up and work out what the next part of the job looks like..where it goes next, how it survives and thrives and continues to grow. Well....we all have to do that I suppose, at least personally.
So...back to gazing on the beauty of da kid and letting my kid out to dream.
We thought of you today as we were buying cycling shorts (you know, the padded ass kind...mmm...sexy). We played dress ups in the store with you in mind, freezing your asses off over there. From us here where the temperature is 76 degrees, with lots of love...
creating home...a nest...a place to be and grow and relax in and create in and live and love in.
I am such a nomad in some ways, but at least half of me loves to nest.
A little over half right now.....
I love to create a space that is warm and comfortable and inviting. A haven for me and the ones that I love. Filled with original artwork and creations all around....supporting other artists who inspire me (and not one piece of my own artwork is on the walls right now...that is adorning OTHER peoples walls). I love to have warm colors around me and candles...lots of candles. I love to have good books and good music and instruments and paper to write ideas on........or just little love notes.
I don't like to have avocados around me. I hate that infact. It makes me want to puke.
I also don't let mean people into my nest. Or people that are shitheads.
I like to have nice smells...but not too overpowering in a patchouli kind of way. I like to have fresh food and fresh vegetables. Infact, I like to create a garden too (and am already trying to work out where the first crop of veggies can go). I really like being able to gather home grown things (and am grateful for the two orange and one lemon tree out the back...and even the two grapefruit trees even though I don't like grapefruit...to eat, I like it to drink....weird, I know).
And I love to have photos and to create a place where I can see the people that I love and who love me, each day. We are working on a photo wall in our studio here in Burbank...and it's a work in progress that will probably change as we are moved or as the photos that are up there fall down (this is CA after all, the land of many tremors). This is not a very good photo of the photos, but it gives you an idea.
I don't really know why I tell you all this. It's almost midnight here and I have spent all day working with my love on our nest...and it's been a lot of fun in a tired body kind of way.
What are your favorite ways to make a nest? I wonder......
Okay, so....back to nesting......or maybe just sleeping now.
So, this is a crew of my mates in IL...we had dinner together in front of the fire on Monday night and then played silly buggers getting all kinds of photos. I love this one! It makes me laugh. We titled it 'The Last Supper'.
This photo has my house mates in Brookfield, Sharon & Patty; my mate Annemarie; Me; Dionne; my mate and fellow bike rider KC; and mates and house concert booker Lee & Sarah.
I especially like the crooked photos on the wall....that was already there.
Anyway...back here in Burbank, CA....I am trying to breathe and not get overwhelmed by the unpacking job ahead and the talk of the economy and how people are being affected. Trying to not get scared about what that will mean for this little Aussie (who can only work in this country through music...visa requirement). And enjoying the sun and being able to get outside and ride my bike, and of course, find a groove with my sweet love as we create our life together.
So...with that in mind, off I go to cook dinner.....mmmmm.....spaghetti bog is sounding good (lol....to us Aussies of course).
It comes full circle. Funny the way life happens and moves and changes. I sit here with Dionne getting ready for the flight back to CA and think on the way the circle is completed. Said see ya later to my mates Sharon and Patti and Kathleen this morning, people I will miss dearly, and sit here ready and excited for the next adventure...well, this IS the adventure...NOW.
Xxm
Ps shout out to tink and her mum, sending good thoughts out your way mate.
So, there is part of snow that is beautiful...and serene and perfect.
But then there's the part of it that looks like this:
given my limited experience in snow, it took me 20 minutes this morning to work out how to unthaw the doors enough to actually get in...and that really only happened after I was able to pry the back hatch open and climb up into the front. I think I am a baby when it comes to snow. But fuck that shit......how the hell can anyone do anything in this weather?? LOL.... I applaud those of you who live in this hell and can still work out how to go outside.
My sweetheart changed her plane ticket to fly home with me tomorrow...I am feeling a little poorly in a vomitus kind of a way and I am sure that, combined with my babying about the snow, caused her to do it. Whatever the reason....I am happy.
Today...in this snow...we are heading to fedex to ship the rest of my belongings back to California. This is my last flight for this year and I can't tell you how happy that makes me feel. Bring on 2009 I say...
