Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The box.....



















So, I bet you never knew that I was so multi talented huh??  .....sometimes, I forget too. You are looking at my first ever raised garden bed. I put it all together with cedar that I bought from Menards. I drilled the holes and screwed the screws and dug the ground and then buried the posts... and not only does it look damn sexy, but it smells amazing.

I am quite proud of my work.

Of course, it's not filled with dirt yet...or thriving vegetables for that matter, but hey, it's together...in place and ready to go. We have to travel this weekend to a show in Findlay, Ohio and I am thinking I need to wait till I get home again to fill it with dirt....and then plant!!!

I am so excited about having my very own garden. One that I can grow amazing vegetables in. One that I can walk outside my back door and pick what I need for that night's dinner. I can't even tell you how excited that makes me feel.

It makes me feel a little settled.....which kinda scares me and excites me all at once.

You gotta understand. I have lived a itinerant life of some kind for the last 12 years. I haven't lived in my own house...with a garden....or a front door that people can just turn up to...for at least 10 of those years. And this is more than just 'my own house'.....we bought it. We own it. I have never owned my own home.

So, it's a little freaky.

Occasionally I get scared that I have 'settled' down and that life will be boring or uneventful or that I will lose my creativity or want to have a baby or something (ha ha....okay, so not all of those things are true...) (breath honey...breath). Occasionally I get scared of the responsibility of owning my own home. I get scared of the work that will always have to be done...of the fear of something going wrong that will cost a lot of money. Of getting bad neighbours that you can't escape.

They are all just fears though....not reality. That's the weird thing about fear...at least for me, I have to back peddle myself out of them and remind myself that they aren't real....they are what 'could' happen. Especially if I spend too much time dwelling on them.

The trick is to stay here...and now. Ever present. Ever grateful for this divine moment, which is unlike any other moment I have ever experienced in my life.

And then, I just have to remember to breath.

And plant tomatoes.....

xxM

Monday, April 26, 2010

the crabby one....

I read on someones blog over the weekend that it seems the only posts that ever get put up on blogs are ones that talk about how wonderful and amazing life is and never the 'life is messy, isn't so wonderful and amazing' posts. Longtime readers of this blog will know that isn't true for me. I tend to put the whole lot out there and have had some really big 'life is fucked' blog posts. 

I do actually believe that my life is wonderful and amazing and most days I am awed by the amazingness of it...

Not so much today. 

I barely slept last night. No real reason except possibly that second cup of LARGE coffee earlier in the day...and no exercise perhaps. But you know, when I lay awake my brain gets bored and starts to stress about things....some of which I was actually stressed about before but had under control, and others that I really wasn't stressed about...until then. 

So I got up and made myself busy around the house until around 4am when I thought I could possibly sleep and stop freaking myself out about things that weren't really that bad....but not so much. Which of course, makes my day so much more fun today.

Infact, I am sure that it is that lack of sleep that caused me to just declared outloud that I don't like being an adult today. 

I don't like trying to find health insurance here in the US that will cover my wife and I and wont cost me a fucking shit load of money for NOTHING. Who knew that health insurance would be so much more expensive living in Indiana than it was California. Well, perhaps not 'so much' more....but still...more!! And hell, I barely get anything for my health insurance now and I pay around $150 a month for it. It's for those 'just in case' moments. I am severely frustrated that most of the plans I looked at don't cover the absolute necessities for women here. 

You know, like a visit to the whohaa doctor. 

SO important and I am unwilling to pay hundreds of dollars a month for insurance that LEAVES THAT OUT.

We LLC'ed last week and I had grand thoughts that trumpets or something would blare on high once we did it. That somehow we (MuseKraft LLC) would be easier to manage and would open up the way for us to have access to 'secret' special company stuff. 

Yeah...so secret and special. 

The $950 a month Aetna tried to slog us for health insurance (for two of us) was anything but special. 

Just incase you were wondering.....I am yelling towards DC hoping that Obama and the dumb republican cronies that are being fuckheads, will hear something from out here in the world and actually get something done for healthcare in this country.  Because this is stupid. 

So...anyway, there you have it. 

My crabby post. I'm in a 'sleep deprived, overwhelmed, pissed off, over the rain' funk and am trying to work out what to do for myself to pull out of it. (Yes, thank you for the suggestions because that's what we all really love....haha, that bit sounds crabby but I am actually giggling as I write it).

If you were to see me right now, I would look very similar to this kiddo here. Walking around the house stamping my feet, my lip hanging out. My year one teacher use to make us sing a song when we were like this; 'nobody loves me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms. Long ones, short ones, fat ones, thin ones. See how they wiggle and squirm.'  

The difference between me and this kid though (and that kid from grade one).....is that I can drink.

(haha...but it's a little too early, even for me)

xxM



Friday, April 23, 2010

The fortunate life...

I feel pretty fortunate in my life, I have to say. I feel like I have been blessed with good art, good people, good friends and an amazing partner. 99% of the people I work with on a yearly basis are solid human beans with integrity and a good sense of humor. I have just moved into a beautiful home that I get to create the life, the art and the space that I want in. I (and we) asked the universe for kind, creative, passionate souls to come fill our lives, our hearts, our home and that is starting to happen. Those days when I feel alone 'out here' trying to catch someones eye or just find connection with folks out in the world get fewer and farther apart.

I suppose all I am trying to say right this second is that I am grateful. Grateful for how I get to live my life. Grateful for the people, the belief, the love, the truth, the honesty. Grateful for friends who know when they can kick my butt and tell me to pull my head in. Grateful for people who love me and like to spend time with me. Grateful for the wonders that have been given to me in this world.

Just grateful.

Grateful for fresh flowers and fresh eggs.....

xxM

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Flowing Well park...

Just outside of Indianapolis is a city called carmel, its where D's mum lives. They have a flowing artesian well that they let people come and fill up their water bottles at.

I think its a totally cool idea and I was extraordinarily happy to be standing here in the warmth of the sun doing something as simple as filling up our water bottle. It felt all natural and earthy like, or that I had stumbled upon this amazing gift.

Ahhh Saturday ay home. Only our second one so far and the bbq isn't far from being ready to cook on.

So rock n roll huh?

Xxm

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Hmmm

For some reason, this intrigued me. The fact that they would put pesticides right next to pet supplies, it seemed wrong and I actually spent far to much time walking around the store, in a buyers 'setting up house' haze, thinking on this.

Probably wasted a whole pile of time doing it, but you know, sometimes my brain just needs to go meaningless sometimes...you know?

Xxm

Monday, April 12, 2010

The view from here....

It's been fun getting use to living in a new place. We have been working 16 hour days painting and unpacking and are both happily exhausted. I sit here right now listening to all the sounds in and around my home. To me, getting to know sounds is an exciting and sometimes overwhelming experience. Especially if its a train horn waking me up at some ungodly hour in the morning.

I can tell new songs are going to happen. As my sweetheart and I create beauty and life around us, it will pour out into our creativity....and into the world. It's one of the great things about being exactly where you are meant to be. It's all harmonious and easy and stuff....

Yeah....and stuff. Lol.

Xxm

Saturday, April 10, 2010

For my brother

Who I am sure, would approve of this...and indeed, probably salivate at the thought. This is my first time at 'steak and shake'....we are in 'too tired to cook' land right now. Junk food is our friend for this second....

Xxm

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The things you find...

We keep finding fun things in our new house....this is my latest. The gardening gnome...who knew that oneday I would own a gnome.

Xxm

Saturday, April 3, 2010

31 hours...

Of driving....and we are finally here. And I'm not going anywhere for the next month.

Who knew I would oneday be happy to see this sign.

Xxm

Friday, April 2, 2010

Tile mania....

We are in Santa Fe, New Mexico and just walked through the most amazing tile showroom. We are finally, after 5 months of traveling, on the way to our home. We are in 'creation' mode. Finding the things we adore to put into our new home.

One of those things is tile.

Who knew that such beautiful tile could thrill me as much as it did. All handmade and superbly made. That is the mandate for our home.

Xxm

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Flagstaff, Arizona

Now, don't no one be saying that I haven't done winter....

Here it is.

Today.

And brr..is it cold.

Xxm