The leaving and the new...

The leaving and the new...
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

This shot is from the back of our van as we pulled out of our driveway for the last time today. The remainder of our belongings in the van, the balcony of our sweet apartment behind us.

I had a little cry as we stood in the door way of our home. This is the place where I fell in love, where I found healing, where I created and dreamed up this life and new adventure with my sweet heart. I am grateful for every single thing that happened in this space. Grateful for the fresh oranges and lemons off the trees, grateful for carol our neighbour (who is undergoing surgery for possible breast cancer RIGHT NOW - send her a prayer!). Her smiley face everday and her scaredy dog Miss T (who would wait till carol was around and be all friendly but would run away from us every other time). I am grateful for the amazing Armenian supermarket up the street and the starbucks down the street. Grateful for the beautiful tree lined street that that we had the chance to live on. Grateful for the laughter and the wonderful fun I have had here the last 9 months.

And so, its with a mix of sadness and gratefulness that we drive out for the last time.

Saturday 9th May is when we drive out of LA with our van loaded and our persons ready for the adventure.

Our adventure......

Our adventure......
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

She was our adventure today.
We saw her running along riverside drive, a really busy road here in Burbank. We were crazy stressed from a morning of dealing with banks who don't recognize domestic partnerships and then we saw her. She almost got hit a few times as we tried to calmly guide her out of the way. We could see her heart beating hard against her chest, scared out of her mind, and she just kept running. We got down on all fours, we cooed and tried to coax her towards us. Then, exhausted, she hid herself under this car, alongside the road and put her head down to have a sleep.

We sat on either sides of the car to stop her from running out and waited for animal control to come and help her out. Two other neighbours joined us, one brought doggie treats and water to try and get her to eat.

Finally animal control tried to get her and she ran to Dionne and is hopefully on her way to her owners now. I secretly wanted her to be the official tour dog....but, it wouldn't work right now. Oneday perhaps.

Now, onto the non fun parts of the day....(and no, this doesn't count as the one fun thing of the day).

Xxm

Eagle rock

Eagle rock
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

This is the view from the top of eagle rock in topanga canyon. We hiked 3 miles up to get a view of malibu one way and the san fernando valley the other way. Its a crisp day out here as the wind blows my hair into chaos. My girl has her camera out and has been shooting the trek up. Beautiful spring flowers and wonderful wildlife abounds. This is our fun thing for the day....well, this and the ocean view lunch we are going to partake in afterwards.

Such a charmed wonderful life I feel like I have been blessed with.

Happy Sunday mates

Xxm

Little league and sun

Little league and sun
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

The first order of the day is watching my little mate Oliver's team play out here in the sun. Then its off to set up for tonights show. We have two more weeks here in socal and are saying mini sad goodbyes to mates who we won't see till November.

Strange mix of sadness and excitement.

Xxm

Fat burger day....

Fat burger day....
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

There's been a competition in
CA between local favs 'in and out burger' and 'fat burger'. Today in the 'let's make sure we do all the things we've talked about doing in CA before we hit the road' quest....we hunted down a fat burger to give it a go.

Let me say, 'in and out' really is a big favorite of mine. I love their protein burger (think hamburger without the bun, wrapped in lettuce). So I went into fat burger with high expectations and.....well, it didn't really cut it for me. I always feel so happy after eating an in and out burger....

So, 'in and out' gets my vote.....just incase I actually get asked.

And, I miss my slice of beetroot....its an aussie thing.

Xxm

Fun thing for Wednesday.....

Fun thing for Wednesday.....
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

Pedicures.....and manicure for da girlie, not this one coz I don't got no nails. Now, its back to work, with pretty toes.

Xxm

Pondering life

Pondering life
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

This is me, Chris Pureka and Lyndell Montgomery after last nights show. We had some sake and called Cathy in Indianapolis at 1am to sing her a semi drunken happy birthday and then put on our 'pondering' faces. Twas a fun night down in Hollywood that ended at a dark dingy bar called The Wall where we all chatted till late.

Chris and I swapped guitar and touring techy information and talked about the artists we aspire towards. Funnily enough, most of them were the same, even though I would say our musical styles aren't. It was nice to sit and chat with a musician who was that open about their careers; where they've been, where they hope to go and be and what they wished for. I appreciated the moments to sit and.....well, ponder.

Xxm

Hotel Cafe

Hotel Cafe
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

My mate Lyndell Montgomery playing with Chris Pureka here at the Hotel Cafe on a tuesday night. We have decide to one at least one really fun thing a day while we pack and move and get our hearts ready to hit the road.

Today, this is it.....

Well, and eating and drinking at the Abbey, the first date restaurant.

Xxm

oh...even better

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

I laughed my ass off watching this....funny bastards

DUNG...haha

We be

officially recognized by the good state of california...which is just in time for all the other states we will be visiting over the next 8 months of touring who don't recognize us. At least for a minute, we bask in the glow of recognition.

It's either that or the glare of the boxes sitting in our house. We have a 10x5 space to fit everything we own into and we have moments of exhilaration mixed with moments of OMFG.

But back to basking...at least for the next 8 hours while we rest our tired and weary, half packed up but feeling like there so much more to do, persons...

xxM

Fridays sunset

Fridays sunset
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

Here tis, on the 5, once again. Me and my girl holidayed out and ready to pack, create and get on the road. We have eaten, drunk, partied with friends, had haircuts, massages and yummy days in wineries.

And now we are ready....

Xxm

Tennessee Valley

Tennessee Valley
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

You hike 2 miles and this is what you see at the end of it. Worth every step....

Xxm

The day....

The day....
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

Of the big hair change....insert trumpet sounds here...actually, its possibly not going to be THAT big but well, who really knows yet. I will post an 'after' shot too.....

Sitting here remembering how long ago it was that I had a hair cut....I think 7 months. Hmm. Feeling suddenly a little conspicuous in this expensive hair salon.

Xxm

There is a theme

There is a theme
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

On this holiday, you know.

Actually, its ring shopping day over here but we take a minute to de-stress from san fran parking crazy and sit in the sun with a beer and a salad. Mmm. Beer and salad.....

Xxm

Driving the 5

Driving the 5
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

I think we have driven up and down highway 5 probably four times in the last 6 months. Going to parties, doing shows, picking up 'stuff'. Today we drive there mostly just to have a few days off, hang with mates and go RING shopping!!! We have tracked down an artist we both love and I know of a few other places up there that carry hand made independent artists. Which is always important to me.

The next time we drive up this dusty highway it will be the start of our cross country touring adventure. The first one at least.

Right now though, I am trying to stave off boredom and the need to pee long enough to get some miles under our belts, or at least get out of this wind.

Xxm

Giant vats

Giant vats
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

Of dogs piss reside here...

Swirling sky

Swirling sky
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

The morning started with a work out, a swim in the salt pool, a jacuzzi and now we head to wine tasting on this beautiful vineyard. I swear, I feel like we are in the middle of Italy.

Xxm

So the story goes...

So the story goes...
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

I was sitting on the phone, talking to my mate jemma in Australia and my girl had just come home from her last day of work at Chace. We had gone out for a celebratory margarita with Brooke, who also works at Chace.

We were giddy with happiness.
I could feel my love writing something on my foot as I was talking to jemma and when I got off the phone, I looked down and this is what I saw. She dropped down onto one knee and looked up at me with her big beautiful brown eyes, brimming with happy tears and told me that she was a traditional kinda girl and wanted a moment to ask traditionally.

And she asked me if I would marry her......

And guess what I said?

YES!!

HELL YES!!!

Oh happy days...

Stage one...

Stage one...
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

Yup, this is what it looks like. Boxes piled up high in our baby apartment here. Trying to just breathe and not get overwhelmed by the 'stuff'.

Tomorrow we head out of town for the week. Starting with a visit with our great mate Justine (who is an amazing chef and a fun drinking aussie) and then heading to Easter parties on Sunday morning for a quick hello before heading out of town to a 'secret' location. Well, its not secret to me....I planned it all but its a secret for my girl....who has her last day of work today!!

Anyway, its back to the packing....and then onwards to margaritas for a mini celebration with d and her work mate Brooke.

Thunderbirds are go....

Xxm

And now for something completely ridiculous.....

Sweetness.....

I knicked this photo from my girl when she came home for dinner tonight. Only three more sleeps btw, until she finishes her job and jumps onboard this magical mystery tour full time with me. She has such a great eye for photos and I am so proud of every shot she takes.

Can you tell we are having a big old love fest over this way right now?

It's true...we are gushing.

We were working at home today on a bazillion different things at once. I haven't been sleeping very well this week, so much creative energy flowing through my brain and the lack of sleep has left me in a funk throughout the day and slow to do things, it seems. So we were both bouncing all over the place moving from one thing to another when I noticed a shift in the room. Just a slight energy shift that no one else would have noticed. I turned to look at my love and jokingly said 'what?'....she wasn't facing me and didn't answer so I jumped up like a puppy dog and said 'what?' again. She turned towards me, handed me her phone and asked me to help her erase something. I looked down at it before I looked at her and realized it was Tyler's phone number (her little brother who passed away in November). I looked at her face and saw the tears streaming down it and just fell towards her and held her tightly in my arms. Knowing what a big moment this was, knowing that it was healthy and part of the healing process but also knowing that it wasn't something to do lightly.

As I held her and felt her tears I asked her if she was sure and she said yes.

And I erased it.

Even as I did there was a part of me that wanted to call the number, just to make sure.

Grief has so many different steps, so many different paths and faces, it can feel as close to every moment as a breath from our lips.

In that moment, when she looked up into my eyes, here sat the woman who just yesterday I took another step towards as we signed and mailed our domestic partnership papers. I fell more in love with her, felt more proud of her and more excited by her and more passionate towards her. I felt more honored by her and more thankful for her and her love of me every day. Finally feeling like we have both found the person that fulfills so many things, that inspires so many things, that creates so many things, that helps heal and kicks into gear so many things.

As I breathed into her arms and felt my own grief around erasing Tyler's number from her phone I also felt him closer to me than ever before. Felt that he loved that his sister was happy and had only 3 more sleeps left till she embarked on the next part of her life. Something that she has wanted to do her entire life was finally coming about and in my mind, I saw him smile.

xxM

Too much? Or not enough?

Too much? Or not enough?
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

This is the face of the woman that I just 'domestic partnered' with.....we filled out the forms, got it notarized and now sit celebrating.

If I could, if it were legal, I would marry her and invite you all to come (that part, at least half of it, is to come....maybe we should move to Iowa instead of the backwards state of CA).

We sit and giggle like kids over something that is mostly a legal formality....but knowing that its the beginning of so much more.

I laughed hard as I was gazing at her sunglassed eyes out here in sunny CA and her lens fell out....it was another moment of remembering why I love her so.

Xxm

Botox anyone?

Botox anyone?
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

I am sitting in the doctors office, waiting waiting for my 11am app. Its sunny outside and really, the last thing I want to do is slip the pink gown on. What is making me crabbier though is a 5 minute looped video on why you should get botox right NOW. It made me feel ill watching beautiful older women talk about how they can now look at themselves, feel happy and like what they see. This woman talked about the side effects with a big old happy smile on her face (nausea and drooping eye lids).

The quest for absolute perfection surrounds me...but I wonder, perfection according to who?

Xxm

Tyler

Been working on this for a few days and am glad to finally share it.

xxM

Musak

Musak
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

You know, I don't usually listen to music when I exercise. Usually I like the silence, to just be with my thoughts as I sweat. Today I ran for the first time in probably 10 years and shit, I really needed the tunes in my head. I hate running but am trying to find a love for it again. Or a tolerance for it at least. Its a good exercise to have on the road. Carrying bikes with us would be tough right now.

Anyway, I am working out that Pink is really good to listen to. She got me up the hill and then some U2 got me down it. I was very thankful for the music distracting me from the burn or the voice in my head yelling 'are you fucking crazy'.

Let's see how I go tomorrow...she says stretching her body out and watching her gf do push ups (the real ones, not the girlie ones). Damn...

Xxm

The goodness

The goodness
Originally uploaded by martine.locke

Of life....well, part of it.

Amazing burgers, good beer, inspiring company, beautiful weather and dreams and talks of the future.

And no, its not an April fools joke.

Xxm

da day, da day....

I was going to post a photo of the beautiful sunniness here in Burbank and talk about the feeling of the warm air on my skin and how much I love it, but I didn't want to rub it into my midwest/east coast mates who I know are sick to death of winter. It really does put me in a great head space to be in such weather. It's the Aussie in me, I am sure. Or maybe it's being born in the center of Australia where it gets mind blowingly (is that even a word?) hot. I have never been much of a winter person.

So....we have a month off the road now to get ready for the big move. The 'pack everything in storage and hit the road full time' move...we are both trying to make a point of exercising everyday and balancing out our days so we don't get super stressed. A bit of work, a bit of play, a bit of gazing, a bit of planning, a chunk of laughing and catching up with friends. D finishes work on April 10th and I just booked us a few days away at a secret beautiful location to celebrate that and her (and mostly I put that in because she is hankering to know where it is....ahha!! That's why it's called 'secret').

The storage unit is booked, the packing plan is as 'in place' as its going to get. Doctors & dentist appointments are made and being carried out. A tonne of gigs and Musekraft opportunities are booked throughout the whole year and more keep coming our way. Everything is going along smoothly for the whole thing and in the midst of it all, we are both taking time to talk about the things we will miss from here. To acknowledge that its okay to miss things, to make the most of it all right now and to remind ourselves of the excitement around the next phase of our lives together. And also to remind ourselves that at ANY time we can change it, and make it look the way we want it to look. There is tremendous freedom in that.

We were looking at plane tickets to Australia today also. Heading out that way in December probably for two months..which is really exciting for me. To see my family and friends out that way again and to bring the one I love to meet them all for the first time. She already has great relationships with a number of my great mates out there so it will almost be like her seeing old friends too.

Do you get sick of hearing me say that I am grateful for my life? For my love? If you are new to reading this, then let me say it again:

I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE.....

I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LOVE.....

If you aren't new to reading, then thank you for indulging my moments of great joy again.

Read back and see how different things were for me a year ago. The heartache, confusion and betrayal screaming louder than anything else in my world or my life....and know that life really can change on the edge of a dime. That it can be hard to see sometimes, but staying open to the journey of life can really bring you to the threshold of the life you actually really want...and then the rest is up to you.

Jump...

or

Stay...

Your choice. Your decision. Your opportunity.

Jump friends...it's worth it.

xxM