The flowers 'know'.....you know?

I don't usually do this, but this past year I have entered into a few different competitions. Song competitions, show competitions...beauty pageants...haha, okay maybe not the last one. Competitions of the musical kind all over the globe.

I haven't won any of them.

That doesn't feel good.

Infact the whole concept of putting my talent, and what I do, against someone else's so that a third (or fourth or fifth) person can determine who's better just goes against a deep internal grain for me. Even as I was entering them I was reminding myself of that….and not listening to myself.  I had other peoples voices echoing in my head saying ‘you have to enter to keep up’ and ‘what a great opportunity when you win’ and all the other assorted well meaning, wanting me to succeed and kick some ass friends and supporters opinions.

Isn’t this the way it goes though? We know something in our core but then we defer to what other people say. I think some of it is because I am scared of being the victim of my own opinions all the time and actually DO want people I love to push me to ‘get myself out there’. I was for a moment giddy with the thought of winning too though. I thought for sure, a few times, that I had synched it…and then didn’t. Fortunately I caught myself, most of the time, from going down the ‘I suck’, ‘I have no talent’, ‘who am I kidding’ slope but was then kinda crabby that I had put myself into the situation of even comparing myself to someone else.

My deep belief system is that every single one of us is here to fulfill a purpose of some kind that we can only do. That only I can do what I can do, in the way that I can do it. So there’s no point in comparing myself to other people…because they are doing exactly what they are doing, in the way that only they can do.

I look at flowers, and plants in my garden, and know deep inside that I am as unique and as different as each one of those are from the other. I have never seen two flowers that are identical…and nor would I want to. I sit here and look at the flowers in my vase and I am glad that each one is different to the other, that each one brings something unique to the posey. Each is beautiful and magnificent in it’s own right.

Just as I am.

Just as you are.