I was fucking terrified.....
Truth be told, if you had've told me what the last 6 months would have held for me...well, shit, I still would have gotten on the damn plane. One person and their dishonesty isn't going to take away the growth, the friendships, the laughter, the weight loss, the amazing shows, the bike riding, the conversations, the adventures, the love, the new material, the whole fucking experience the last 6 months has brought me.
When I arrived in Chicago I said there was no way I could make any more major decisions. That I needed to sit and exist in a space of not knowing what my next steps would look like....and I tell you, that was kinda tough for someone who had the next 12 months planned out usually. I secretly hoped that I would know when something came up, what decision I needed to make then.... Right in the moment. Its been a time for me to heal my relationship with my intuition and to trust myself and the world again. I made a conscious choice to put myself on an accelerated healing path....doing whatever I could to move through it, sometimes not so gracefully, but with as much honesty and vulnerability as I could.
Why do I tell you all this?
Who the fuck knows....
Its just coming out of me as I sit here in the airport waiting for my plane thinking about the last 6 months and how I feel about it all today. I suppose too, I put it out there in the hopes that it reminds you that things really can change on the edge of a dime. And sometimes, hard things hit us and the best thing we can do is just put our head down, and walk towards it (that's the goat in me talking), believing and holding onto the fact that 'this, too, will pass'.
Xxm
