I just got this photo from Michelle down in Indianapolis. We have been talking on and off over the last few months about grief and moving through pain-filled things and experiences with people/relationships or blips, and how much we let that change our world and healing and the 'whys' and the 'hows' and the 'whens' and well....you know, all that stuff.
This photo is actually of a coffee stain...lol. It made me laugh out loud when I saw it.....in a 'fuck no' and a 'if you only knew' and a 'hmm..coffee'...kinda way. Because of this photo, I was reminded of a song I want to write about the idea of a wound turning into a scar and what that process looks like. I am experiencing a wound turn into a scar and the image of that happening has been really powerful in my mind and in my imagination...and no doubt, in my person. My mate Alex said to me recently when I was griping about scars and not wanting to be scarred, that she thought scars were kinda sexy....in a 'lived life, had experiences, put it all out there, been hurt, been healed' kinda way.
I like that idea.
I know I can look at my own body right now and remember how I got each of the scars on my skin...some of them have great memories, some of them not so...but they all make up who I am and show my journey in this life.
I think there is something to be said for actively pursuing your own healing from something instead of just hoping that time will take care of it.....time is a great healer, yes...but I also believe I can be active in my own healing process and do what I need to, to take care of da bizness. Writing is part of that for me...laying it all out there. Getting body work, talking with friends, exercising, being creative, being in nature...all helps too. And visualizing my wound....my 'big, gaping, bloody, puss filled, matted, never gonna survive this, makes me want to vomit when I look at it' wound, turning into a scar...a big shiny, smooth scar. A scar that I will carry with me in the same way I do the big one on my knee that I got from the handlebars of my BMX bike..or the one on my other knee from the time I jumped out the back of a speed boat and the propeller knicked me..or the one on my thumb from where I almost took off said appendage trying to cut an orange at 4 years of age...or the one...well, you get the picture....
My, soon to be, shiny-smooth-tells an amazing story-has changed me forever and I have 'lived to tell the tale' scar.
xxm
2 comments:
Scars are sexy, especially when we embrace them in lessons learned and personal growth. They are reminders of moments in time, but they don't define us.
wow i actually said something worth noting....umm but Mardi you do know when i said that about scars i was talking about axe wounds right?? LMAO
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