one more chance

you gave it
you took it
and then
you gave it again
only to take it away
back to where we began
each moment i am wiser
each moment i feel stupid
each moment i am wishing
that the moment before
never even existed

when i breathe in
it hurts my soul
when i breathe out
it takes it’s toll

and
i
am
crushed
under
the weight
of
you

holding my head high
caressing my own hand
while i cry
knowing
you and yours
dont match
that the schiz-in-noid
is you
this back and forth
that you do
is fucked and incomplete
filled
with such deceipt
that it turns
me inside out
makes me question
all my doubts

and yet still..

if i had
just one more
chance
i would hold
my head high
caress my own hand
while i cry
because this is you
and nothing
i can say
and nothing
i can do
will ever
change
that