It's storming up here in Lake Geneva and I just got done walking around part of the lake before this HUGE fucking thunder storm started and we had to run back to the hotel in the pouring rain, thunder overhead, lightening...the works!!. It was a lot of fun in a 'crazy, aussie' kinda way and we were wet through by the time we got back.
But right before that happened, I was reading this email from a mate as I walked and she was telling me about her finale in the story of someone who had hurt her deeply and seemed to be fairly unconscious about it along the way, and it tapped into something in me and for a moment I started to get angry for both of us when I looked up and saw this on the side of the lake.
'Slow...no wake'
And I laughed outloud. Because I knew it was a gift from the universe. I think getting in touch with anger around a situation is really really valuable, in so far as it doesn't dictate the way you continue to be in the world. But I also think the ability to laugh at it is also really important.
I know that there are people in this world that can come up with all the psycho babble, new age speak in the world to convince themselves of the right or the absolution to do things that continue to hurt people. That somehow by speaking those few words, they are absolved or it seems that it relinquishes them from the ramifications or the responsibility for their continued actions in this world, people who know the speak but their actions don't match (we all know these people, right?).
Then I found my anger turned to compassion, because I know that its only thru grace and the ability to have compassion that saves me from having the same sense of 'right' in this world. I know that its only because of my own painful journey, because of my lessons, and because of the people around me who love me and can whisper loving direction into my ears, people that I honor and respect to speak truth into my life and wake me from my unconscious state, that I am continuing to learn how to not be slow to wake.
And that made me unbelievably grateful.....in a dripping wet, laughing through the anger kinda way...
Xxm
4 comments:
aye curumba i thought i was goin nuts then..i read this earlier and felt mildly confused, not so unusual,ha,so i came back to try again and took a few seconds more than i want to admit b4 i twigged to the edit...anyway, some humbling food for thought, hope the weather is kind to all..
From anger to compassion during a thunder storm doesn't sound too slow to wake to me.
So, do we become angry when we try to make our universe fit our idea of what it should be, rather than accepting/loving the universe for what it is? What say you/ewes? Simplistic?
ahhh...nahhh mate, I think that's the trick all us ponies are trying to learn...as in the serenity prayer idea....courage to make the change, wisdom to know the difference kinda thing.
I think it's human to get crabby when we don't think the universe is delivering the way we think it should. I also think it's human to get crabby when we are hurt by other folks and their actions...especially when it's a repeated action.
I also think that it's through 'practise' that we work out the difference between what we can and can't change and to have grace around that rather than anger.
And shit, at the end of the day...the only thing we can change, is ourselves and our reactions and our boundaries and our...well, you know. That's all the power we got...
That's my thought for today..might need more coffee.
it is true we can only change ourselves, our responses, etc. i find that when i change things about myself it changes the way other eople respond, react, relate etc to me. its true for me especialy with parenting. i have the tendancy to take what my teenage son says or does personaly, if i change my responses but still acknowledge my feelings, remember he is 15 and that his behaviour is normal the outcome is very different. my initial responses then actions are usually a result of my own experiences and indeed raising children takes u back there. so my responses are now, breathe, acknowledge my own feelings and why, then reflect on the present, it always has a better outcome.
thanks mardi and jem for helping me reflect on that.
connie xx
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