Friday, May 2, 2008

The view from here

This is what a house concert looks like pre-audience. When I sit on the floor and ponder on what I will sing and talk about. When I get a chance to lay my upright car body down for a minute and whisper sweet healing words to my own heart.

In some ways I feel like the past 6 months of my life are coming full circle. That I am reclaiming my place in some of these places, that I am a different soul than I was last time I was here in this area. That so many painful things have happened, most of which started here, that I can't be who I was then. How I am here today is definately not how I thought I would be a few months ago and allowing the disappointment and all other feelings around that to exist and not be squashed or hurried away is not always easy. It would be easier sometimes to shoo it away.

Sometimes its a constant battle to keep my heart sweet and open, believing that a broken heart heals and that I won't just look on this transition and heart ache with regret only. I have never regretted anything in my whole life, up till now. I know its pointless to live in regret, I know it is. Trying to pull my teetering self away from that edge is not always easy though....and I actually pray every single day that it will become easier.

Hmm....so these are my thoughts pre show....lol. You watch this be the funniest show in the world, got my mums talent of being able to laugh in the midst, and I am thankful.

Xxm

1 comment:

megster said...

guess the show is going on or gone and i hope it did turn out wild and fun. You talk about keeping your heart open and free of regret alot and i just find those concepts so full of courage..and very, very challenging..thinking of you in the midst of it all..